sleeper. Ruby and May slept through the night by 3 months, I'd say.
Olive started sleeping through the night at about 5 or 6 months but it
only lasted about three weeks. Every night she wakes up between 2:30
and 3:30 am. Tomorrow she will be exactly 8 months. What do I do
every night when she wakes up and cries? I go in and nurse her and I
keep doing it because she seems hungry. Also, we live in a townhome
next to a very nice newly single mother who's bed is on the other side
of the wall where Olive's crib is and Olive wakes her up just from the
very short time she cries until I wake up and walk into her room. The
thought of having Olive cry for an hour--I just can't do that to my
poor neighbor. So, mothers. What do you think? Should I still be
feeding her in the middle of the night? Not including the middle of
the night feeding, she nurses five times a day and eats at least one
big (stage 2 size) baby food jar, along with the same amount of rice
cereal or oatmeal three times a day. She's tall, she's growing like a
weed. I think she's my tallest baby. Anyway, now that I just told
everyone this very long scenario, what would you do?
Sent from my iPhone
13 comments:
??? I am the worst person to ask about this. I will be frequently checking back to see if anyone else has advice. Hang in there.
I'd ask the neighbor if she'd rather get woken up EVERY night for who knows how long or if she'd rather endure a few days to a weeks worth of longer crying in order to be able to sleep through the night after wards.
She's getting plenty to eat Annie. She just become programmed to wake up, and wants you to be her PACIFIER so she can go back to sleep.
Don't be her pacifier any more.
Do the tough thing and let her learn how to self soothe herself back to sleep in the middle of the night.
This involves some crying.
Let her wake up, let her cry for a bit, then go in (WORDLESSLY and with little eye contact), lay her down (if she's sitting), put her blanket over her and then leave.
Keep doing this every few minutes.
For some, I know this sounds like torture. I know some moms who physically CANNOT stand the sound of a crying baby.
But I always say, what's better? For everyone to be tortured for months to years? Or for a week of torture that leads to peace?
I've always gone for the peace. I worked hard to get my kids to be the Olympic sleepers they are. Still every now and again, I have to get tough again and not let them fall into bad sleeping habits.
Good luck!!
luvs, aby
PS - and then no matter what the neighbor said, I'd do whatever was best for my family and my baby.
And hope she'll forgive me sometime in the future ;)
I am awful at letting my babies cry. Fortunately my girls were just really good sleepers. Jaren, however, didn't sleep through the night until he was 1!! He is a huge, huge kid (always was) and he ate in the middle of the night as if he hadn't eaten in weeks, so I just let it go on...and on...and on. Finally he just outgrew it. Looking back, maybe I should have been tougher, but we got through it and he's a great sleeper now. No harm done. Sleep is totally overrated anyway. Plus, if you're like me, you can't sleep through her screaming at night anyway, so rather than lying there awake and feeling guilty, just feed her. I'm such a softie, it's embarassing. Good luck!! Now tell me how to potty train a BOY!
You know, pre-Henry, I would have totally given an answer like your friend, Aby. I was and loved being (because it was best for my kids) a sleep nazi. Then...
Same deal. We lived in a townhome and I'd have Henry cry it out and then, sure enough, a few days later, he'd start up again. It was horrible and I started dreading nights because I KNEW I'd be up in a few hours. Plus, it was embarrassing to have such a bad sleeper and everyone now telling ME what to do. As if I didn't know.
The thing is, and I'm sure you've figured this out too, is all kids are different. For some reason, maybe he had heartburn, maybe bad dreams, I'll never really know, Henry would wake up about 3-4 nights a week.
It took a lot longer than it did with his older brothers, but by the time he was 2 he had learned to sleep through the night. No drills, no training. those 3-4 nights became 2...then 1 and now none. It's very rare when he wakes up. So, from the mother of a poor third child sleeper to another, there's...um....hope?
You probably can train her. And you could tell your neighbor that for the next week you are going to be training her to sleep through the night and maybe she wants to wear ear plugs or something. I'm sure she'll appreciate the communication and it might be less annoying if she knows what's going on. I'm sure some kind of baked goods would help smooth the situation too.
good luck! And, I'm sorry. I bet you're tired!
I agree with Aby-that's the method I've used with both of my kids, although they still go through cycles where they decide not to sleep anymore (for some reason, around age 8 months and 18 months-
Jakson does it when we make any change, like moving....) and we have to retrain them.
At first it was difficult, letting them cry, but each night the time they cried was less and less. Soon they were figuring out how to put themselves back to sleep and stay that way!!
Different people have different opinions about bottle feeding, but I think feeding her a big bottle of formula around 10pm might help too. Formula fills babies up and might get her through the night. Although at this point, it may just be a habit that she's gotten in to.
Good luck! I know how hard it is to be sleep deprived!! Hopefully something someone here has said (or will say) will work!
I'm in the same situation and don't have a lot of answers - just here to sympathize since our babies are the same age. Ethan wakes up between 2-3 times a night to eat. He's super good at putting himself to sleep and he usually eats really good when he wakes up, so I just figure he's hungry. Kate woke up at least one time a night until she was 1, and then she just grew out of it. I am hoping that happens with Ethan! Once we get back to our house we may try to cry it out again (we've tried it several times and it has never worked) and see if it helps, but I'm not going to drive myself, Kate, and my neighbors crazy.
Your post is spiraling me back into the very dark days of two Irish twins who did this to me at the same time for months (a year?). If I had any answers I would have a lot more children :) I so feel your pain.
All I can say is, everything with kids (bottle weaning, sleep training, etc.) usually isn't as bad as you think it's going to be, kids are adaptable after a few tough days. Except for potty training--that really was as bad, maybe worse, than I thought it was going to be :)
This is such a hard thing to do...I have to say I agree with both Aby and Lucy. I don't think she's hungry - she's at the age where she should be sleeping through most nights. So here's what I'd do:
Talk to you neighbor like Lucy suggestive - bribing with food is a very good thing.
Give the 5-10-15 approach a try. Be easy on yourself if it doesn't work. I would really try NOT to nurse her if possible and don't pick her up. pat her on the back, cover her up and put on some music.
If this is her thing, and trying this for a few nights doesn't work, then I have to go with Lucy...this just may be her thing.
I'm not a fan of crying it out, I'm lucky I haven't had to do it. I refuse to shut the door at 7pm and open it at 7am. If they cry, I am there. But mine cry when they are sick, or their leg is stuck in the slats, there is always some reason. I haven't had to deal with just wanting to 'play' (or nurse, you know what I mean.)
Babies wake up a lot, and then sooth themselves. Thankfully I have a thumb-sucker. My neice uses a pacy and even tho she's almost a year old my bro or his wife sleep on the floor of her room to pop it in her mouth.
So. It could be worse? (supposed to make you laugh! ;))
She's just going to need to find some way to self sooth herself. Throw a few safe toys in there to play with...I hear meg rattling around, laughing and chatting at 2am, then she goes back to sleep. Phew.
Thinking of you!!! I have a few books to suggest too, if you'd like. Just email me. :)
Good luck - I'll be thinking of you!!!
oh - also - i forgot to say.
Meg was a good sleeper, and then it all changed around 6 mos when was up at 2am every night to eat.
Really sock it to her as far as her feeding before you put her down at night. For me, I was nursing and feeding meg like you. But found my milk supply diminishing at that nighttime feeding. So I'd nurse and follow up with a bottle. i wish I could say I was a super mom and could also pump, but I was barely keeping up with the feeding as it. So we used formuala. Sometimes she drank the whole bottle, sometimes she didn't. It also gave Aaron a chance to feed her too.
Once she got that little extra it stopped the night time feeding.
So, just another thing to think about. :)
Even with our third baby we can't handle listening to him cry it out. Tears us up. I always wonder, what if they really are hungry, or miserable in there... I think it's mean, but I am a sucker for babies - esp with babies as cute as Olive... and I don't mind getting up in the night. So you really need to do what you are comfortable with. It won't last forever - I'm sure eventually she will surprise you and start sleeping through the night. Hopefully!?!
You know, with Axel we did the cry in the night for an hour thing, and it did work... until we went on vacation, he went to bed late, he was sick, or teething, and then he'd wake up because of the mentioned reasons, and then be right back in the habit of waking up and we'd have to do the cry for an hour sleep training AGAIN. With the girls, I just fed them whenever they wanted, but I think I actually ended up getting more sleep than with Axel. They just stopped waking up on their own at about 11 months.
Parenting is such an experiment. Good luck, mama.
Post a Comment