And So it Begins

Man, I had been sleeping so well up until this point and was beyond happy about that. I have been so exhausted and each night, my pillows, my sheets, my mattress always seemed to be calling my name. And not only that, it would start at like 9, which is so unlike me. 9 is when my night usually starts. As I crawled into bed each night, I would just sink down and sigh with relief and think "Finally. I'm here." I've heard people talk about sleep this way and it always mystifies me. When I'm not pregnant, and especially during the winter, I dread going to bed. Will it take me 2 hours to finally nod off? Will I be sound asleep and then something wake me up, like Go's stupid pager or a child using the bathroom or crying out in their sleep? How long will it then take me to go back to sleep, if I do at all? Or will I wake up for no reason at all other than I've had my 3 hours of sleep (which always seems to be the magic number) and now my brain is wide awake and spinning, leaving me to toss and turn with my crazy thoughts until I finally decide to just get up? What will the night bring? It's this mixture of dread over something I have no control over, mixed with fear of the unknown, mixed with inevitable disappointment. I also don't enjoy knowing that there's some kind of disconnect between my mind and my body. How can my body be so tired while my mind is so active? Why can't my body communicate with my brain? Shouldn't this be able to happen? It's extremely frustrating.

I don't know if it's because it's so freaking hot (we JUST had our heater on like 5 days ago. I am NOT turning on the AC yet. I refuse.) or the very upsetting dream I forced myself to wake up from in which May had been missing for over 24 hours and the icky feeling that I now can't seem to shake, or because I'm entering my 2nd trimester and not dragging myself along every second of the day, I'm having a bout of pregnancy insomnia. Whatever it is, clementines sure taste good at 3:45 am.

Just a Word of Advice

If you're extremely sensitive to caffeine, and foolishly decide at 10 pm to eat the last slice of Bittersweet Chocolate Flour-less Cake, it would be wise after still lying awake at 1:30 am, to heed the sage advice from your husband when he suggests taking a sleep aid. And then, after retorting* "YOUR MOM should take some Melatonin," you should not stalk into the bathroom and decide to trim your bangs. You might walk out looking like a person hopped up on caffeine who picked up some scissors and went to town...with their eyes closed. And then, after becoming 50% distraught over your new insane-asylum-patient look and 50% distraught over the fact that you actually don't really care that much and why don't you care because you should care and what does this say about yourself and why are you so lame lately, you should not lie awake until 5 am watching Youtube videos of Korean girls trimming their bangs.

*Tena, if you're reading this, I wasn't specifically talking about YOU. This is a joke 30-somethings say to each other as a sassy and extremely intelligent and mature comeback, along the lines of "I know you are but what am I?" to shut the other person up. But let's be honest, you probably really should take a Melatonin.

7 Things on September 7th

1. Last night I fell asleep and stayed asleep until the morning WITHOUT ANY FORM OF SLEEP AID for the first time in a really long time. I'm such a big girl. I got to put a sticker on my chart.

2. Kind of obsessed with Chobani greek peach yogurt and Avarado Street sprouted wheat bread and have been for months.

3. I watched Jersey Shore for 15 minutes for the first time a couple of nights ago. I completely see the appeal. It wasn't as gross as I thought it would be and even though these people are completely ridiculous, there is something about them that makes you sympathetic while simultaneously hating them. It was a strange feeling; fascinating and entertaining to witness. That being said, it will probably be the last 15 minutes I ever watch.

4. Lately, I've been overwhelmed with thoughts of all the things I'd really, really love to do that I'll probably never get to do. Like bike across America. Or write a screen play, direct it, do the soundtrack and then watch it in a real live theatre. Be awesome enough at an instrument to play in a band, and then actually play in a band. Get through a yoga class without the teacher stifling their laughter as they observe my crazy unlimberness. Paint a picture that I actually like. These are things I long to do and I fear will never come to pass. There's something else that's always been on that list, but I'm taking it off and am working toward it: I am attempting to write a novel and hopefully, get it published. This is something I've been working towards on and off for the past 2 years. As of tomorrow morning, I'm back on the wagon. I'm trying to prove the voices in my head wrong - the ones that tell me I'll never be able to do it, it's not worth the energy and the sacrifice of precious sleep. These voices are really hard to ignore because you see, the voices in my head sound something like the lovechild of Fran Drescher and Gilbert Gottfried.

5. We all know it: summer is winding down, fall is upon us. 95% of you just clasped your hands together and took a deep inhale. I really, really wish I could do this with you, to relish autumn and be among you, you who gushes about how much you *LOVE!!!* fall, but I just can't seem to do it. To me, autumn is a precursor to 5 to 6 months of wintery misery. But (as always) I'm going to attempt to enjoy it this time around. Maybe I'll succeed knowing that this is my second to last fall here on the East coast. (UTTER GLEE!) But really, even if I didn't get slammed with the winter-blues every year, I'm not much a cozy, toasty autumny person anyway. I get much more excited about things coming in green, fresh and alive (spring!) than I do about things wilting and dying...which is what fall is. Sorry to burst your apple-cinnamon scented bubble, folks. Fall = death.

6. We've been finding dead butterflies in our front yard lately. This creeps me out. What's that movie where they keep finding dead animals around and then all of a sudden some weird disaster hits?

7. This post is starting to bum me out. Hm. How should I lighten this up? Hmmmm...uh...well...how about you pretend that I uploaded a video of Olive dancing? Picture a very tall, very bald toddler hunkered down, jutting out her chin, sticking out her neck, and pumping her fists horizontally back and forth and then all of a sudden, she tips her head waaaay back with her eyes closed and her mouth open wide, sticks out her tongue and sways her head side to side, in time with her fists. Yah. I'm just going to have to post a video.

Fun Activity Idea To Do Instead of Sleeping at Night #5 and #6

#5. See what you'd look like if you wore the fanciest hijab in the mosque!

#6. Look up "insomnia" on wikipedia and diagnose yourself.
After thorough research, you deduce you have both:
Acute insomnia, which is the inability to consistently sleep well for a period
of between three weeks to six months
and
Middle-of-the-Night-Insomnia, which is characterized by difficulty returning to sleep
after awakening in the middle of the night, also referred to as nocturnal awakenings.

After reading a long list of causes that don't exactly ring true to you,
you find one line that finally fits the bill:
"An overactive mind may also be a cause."
You knew it. You are a genius with an overactive mind.

Fun Activity Idea To Do Instead of Sleeping At Night #4

Feed the baby who is currently taking up residence within you a banana.

Your snack choice is two-fold:

1. You've heard the potassium found in bananas might help
with subsiding your toe-wrenching Charlie Horses.

2. There are times, due to the insane amount of
kicking, drumming, tap dancing, twisting, twirling, somersaulting
you think there might be a monkey in there instead of a baby.

Fun Activity Idea To Do Instead of Sleeping At Night #3

Look at images on the internet done by artists and illustrators who you love and cry a little!

Ramon Casas

Jon J. Muth

Modigliani
Arthur Rackham

Chuck Close

Lisbeth Zwerger


N.C. Wyeth
Gustav Klimt
Robert Sabuda

David Wiesner

Ruth Christian Gannett
Maxfield Parrish

Lauren Child

Howard Pyle

Ian Falconer

Lane Smith

William Joyce

Fun Activity Idea To Do Instead of Sleeping at Night #2

Contemplate what life would be like without your chin!

This Guy Must Not Have Slept Last Night Either

Me: Hi, yah, I have a question about my daughter's insulin pump.

Customer Service Guy: Certainly. Before we start, could I get some information from you?

Me: Sure.

Guy: Could I have your first name, please.

Me: Annie.

Guy: A-n-n-y?

Me: I-e.

Guy: A-n-n-y-i-e?

Me: No, A-n-n-i-e.

Guy: Ok, thank you. And your last name, please?

Me: Reynolds.

Guy: R-a-n-o-l-d-s?

Me: No, r-e-y-n-o-l-d-s.

Guy: R-e-y-n-a-l-d-s?

Me: o-l-d-s.

Guy: a-o-l-d-s?

Me: No. R. E. Y. N. O. L. D. S.

Guy: R-e-y-n-o-l-d-s?

Me: Yes.

Guy: Ok, thank you. And you're calling about your daughter's insulin pump, is that correct?

Me: Yes.

Guy: And her first name?

Me: Ruby.

Guy: R-u-b-b-i-e?

Me: No, just one b and no i-e, just a y.

Guy: R-u-b-b-y?

Me: Just one b. R-u-b-y.

Guy: R-u-b-y?

Me: Yes! Perfect!

Guy: Ok, thank you. And her last name?

Me: Reynolds as well.

Guy: R-e-n-a-l-d-s?

Me: Sigh.

And Now For a New Post Series

Fun Activity Ideas To Do Instead of Sleeping At Night


#1. See what you'd look like if you wore a hijab!