Happy Birthday May-Bone!

May's birthday was on the 28th. Daddy was on call, so we celebrated on the 29th. Here are some pictures from the celebration. Since she says only two word sentences at the most, I'll include captions of what she would have said if she could:

"Oh boy! Another book I can rip to shreds!"

"Aren't I lucky that Grandma Caren has such exquisite taste in footwear?"

"This is the smile I make right before I destroy something. Or when I'm really, really happy. Come to think of it, the two usually go hand-in-hand."

"I can push my stroller exactly how Mommy pushes her grocery cart. Get out of my way! Look out!"

All right, I'm making her out to sound like a devil-child. Yes, she is mischevious, but she also so, so funny, always is trying to make us laugh, which isn't hard.  She is sensitive and caring, will hug you if you're sad, loves babies and yells "HI!" to old men, and is squeezy and lovable. We're so lucky to have May-May in our family.

Ruby's prayer at breakfast just now

"Dear Heavenly Father, thank you for this day.  Thank you for this food...and I really, really want to use my markers again.  Mommy won't let me use markers anymore because I colored all over my carpet but I really, really want to use them and now she just says "No. No. No."  I think she won't let me use  my markers until after I die and that's a long, long, long time.  I just want to use my markers again.  Um...Amen."

Two Truths and a Lie: The Past Two Weeks

1. On a tour at the oldest pretzel factory in America, which is currently non-functioning, where they created the illusion of warmth with red-toned lights.
2. A visit to the morgue. Just for funsies.
3. Contemplating purchasing some prime dungeon real estate.

1. A kidnapper and his strangely willing kidnappee.
2. May joins a break dancing team.
3. Ethan entertains May during the safari ride at the wild animal park, giving him a delightful taste of what he has in store for him some day: an antsy two year old who likes to scream and has no fear of jumping out of a moving vehicle.



1. You can't see them but Ruby has a gumball up each nostril.
2. Ruby practicing her smile for the Little Miss Dew Drop pageant we've pushed her into entering. After staying up all night, pain-stakingly stitching on every rhinestone and every sequin, her victory gown, in a lovely shade of mango, is finally finished and I am free to post.
3. Totally estatic and 100% in her element: amongst animals.



1. Meet our new pet, Doreen. We've got her chained to the bbq on the back patio.

2. We believe in animal testing. Before we give our kids crackers, we have deer and other animals take a few nibbles, just to insure it's safe to eat.
3. Ruby feeding the deer on the safari ride. We also fed buffalo (which are some crazy animals: huge long, black tongue that they stick out and twist around), elk, emus, alpacas, lamas, cows, sheep, goats. It was awesome.



1. A Mother-Daughter theatre group. A Midsummer Night's Dream.
2. Just another day.
3. Halloween party.



1. Ruby's ride after she hitchhiked and joined the circus.
2. On a buggy ride through the Amish countryside.
3. Ruby's acting debut in a country music video.



1. Taking Grandma to see the R.U.S.'s of Pennsylvania.
2. Doreen got loose and we formed a search party.
3. On a walk with Grandma.



1. Modeling a new outfit that Grandma brought.
2. Practicing how to act during a police line-up; just a little activity we like to do before church.
3. Moments after these pictures were taken, May put an apple on top of Ruby's head and practiced her archery.

In Case You Were Wondering

Excellent job everyone, I was very impressed.

1. Help Wanted: Kids 

2. Darby O'Gill and the Little People

3. The Absent Minded Professor

4. The Apple Dumpling Gang

5. Bed Knobs and Broomsticks

6. Oklahoma!

7. The Brave Little Toaster

8. The Sound of Music

9. Swiss Family Robinson

10. White Christmas

11. Mother Goose Rock 'N Rhyme

12. Not Quite Human

13. The Flight of the Navigator

14. Savannah Smiles

15. Escape to Witch Mountain

16. The Happiest Millionaire

17. Old Yeller

18. In Search of the Castaways

19. Mary Poppins

20. The Music Man

21. Napoleon and Samantha

22. The Edison Twins

23. Benji the Hunted

24. The Leftovers

25.  I-Man

Before High School Musical

My mom left this morning (Will Ferrell as Robert Goulet saying "Single tear") so now I'm procrastinating doing all the things I didn't do while she was here, so hello procrastination tool of choice.

Being with my mom for the past 11ish days has made me think of my childhood; it was a pretty good one, I have no complaints out of the ordinary besides her agreeing to let me be a wise man in the nativity scene when I was eight.

Shortly after this in-every-way-disturbing picture was taken, we

moved from Florida to California. In preparation for the packing, moving, unpacking, my mom did what any normal mother in 1988 with a VCR and cable would do: she taped hours and hours of the Disney channel for her kids to watch while she packed, moved and unpacked so that maybe, just maybe, they would stay out of her hair long enough for her to get something done.

I doubt her ploy was 100% effective but I am 100% grateful for those video tapes that still grace her bonus room cupboards. I hope to have a similar collection someday made up of these films of yesteryear, as none of them make me violently ill unlike the made-for-tv Disney movies of today.

High fives to anyone who is able to name all of these movies by name.

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Ten Things I Don't Understand:

1. Most fads of the 90's, especially this one:

2. These animals and the people who prefer them over dogs:

3. These hideous things:

4. Why this is the most popular "sport" in America:

5. Why this guy is even on TV:

6. Why people choose to live in this:         
7. How this became ok:                                                        
  8. What people are thinking:                                                         
9. Who cares:

                                                         

10. Why the guy on the right is still single: