Strawberries

Pennsylvania is lame and assigns when different towns go trick-or-treating. Ours was last night.

Ok, I have to say it:

I love how their costumes turned out.

Toot, toot.

Trying to make strawberry jam.

Finding their inner berry.

Pretending to be shy strawberries.

Their self-selected footwear for the evening.

A Snippet of My Conversation with a Very Annoyed Sonographer

Sonographer Lady: ...and it's never 100%, but it looks like you've got a girl in there. See those three lines?
Me: No way. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
SL: Yep.
Me: You're sure.
SL: Well..
Me: Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Oh. My. Gosh. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! So you're totally sure.
SL: Well, like I said, we're never--
Me: Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! But I mean, you're not like on the fence about it--you're pretty sure.
SL: Yes, I'm very sure. If it were a boy, it'd look like a turtle, but those are definitely three lines, but--
Me: Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
SL: (she takes the probe thing off my belly because I'm laughing so hard and just sort of stares at me) Are you ok?
Me: Yes, yes. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Ok, I'll let you finish. I'm so sorry.
SL: (goes to reapply the probe)
Me: Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Sorry. I just think this is so funny. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
SL: (obviously annoyed) Do you need to take a minute?
Me: No, no, no. I'm just really suprised. It's just really, really funny. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
SL: Why is it funny? Were you expecting a boy?
Me: Well, sort of. I just have two girls all ready and I'm just not that type of girl. I'm totally going to be that Mom, you know? The one with a bunch of girls. It's just so weird...
SL: So you always thought you'd have a lot of boys?
Me: Yah, totally.
SL: Huh. Well there's always next time.
Me: Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

I Cannot Stop Laughing.

The Ultrasound

It is this morning. But I will have to wait to post the results (if there are any, cross your fingers) until after I tell Go because he won't be able to be there for it. Everyone in the non-medical world out there, your hands flew to your cheeks, your head just went side to side and you started moaning "Oh no! Oh no! This can't be!"







Everyone in the medical world out there, you crossed your arms, closed your eyes, nodded and gave a big "Uh-huh," inhaled and puffed out "Honey child, don't I know it. I've felt cho pain befo'." Unless your like in Derm or something.

Just In Case You Were In Need of a Chuckle

Picture me, a poor, poor pregnant lady, chasing my rolling trash cans and recycling bins down the street for about 8 blocks--the gusting wind is faster than my swollen feet. It's also pouring rain. Oh, and I'm very obviously wearing pajamas.

By the way, you've got a sick sense of humor.

October 28

Happy Birthday May May.

It's been three years today
When we first met our May,
You made our family more complete.
You were such a delight
From our very first sight
Of your long lizard tongue and square feet.

It was in Iowa during the fall

But you weren't dreary at all
And so we named you "May,"
You were a sunny baby
Only gloomy sometimes, maybe.
We named you perfectly that day.

You had a small tiny head,
Covered in a soft fuzz of red
But soon it grew nice, large and round.

A skinny newborn you were
But plumped up nicely for sure.
Within weeks, chubby with rolls abound.

Acid reflux, torticollis and RSV

Put you through many a therapy
But it didn't slow you at all down.
You smiled and cooed
And wiggled and drooled
From the start you were such a clown.

At three months you were toted

For a week Daddy doted
And wore you in the Bjorn by the Bay.
Then we moved to the East
Where residency's a beast
You miss your Daddy all day.

You climb onto his lap
‘Round his neck, your arms wrap
You give big hugs and wet kisses.
When you're done with your mister,
You move along to your sister
Reeking havoc, creating chaos, making messes.

You've always liked men, especially your Pops
"Papa Tommy!" you squeal, he is tops.
You want to get held by random guys in the ward,
You wave and make eyes at strange dudes at the store
Within minutes, you've got them; you--they adore.
Your teen years, we don’t look toward.

We love you at three
As part of our family
We couldn’t imagine life without you.
Happy Birthday, MayMay
This is your day
These three years have simply just flew.

Hey, how ya doin?

Lately, I have feared the question "How are you?" It feels wrong to give the token answer "Good," or "Fine, thanks," when I'm not good or fine. I abhor fake-ness. But the question "How are you?" is unfortunately, more often than not, rhetorical. If one gives an honest answer such as "Inches away from a mental breakdown, thank you," one comes off as socially inept, which is almost as bad as being fake. Quite the conundrum. BUT by taking the time to read this post, YOU, fine reader, are essentially asking "How are you?" and really meaning it. If you didn't mean it, you wouldn't have started reading in the first place or would have stopped reading by now, which would be ok. I don't blame you.

So how am I?

Let's get our REAL on.

Well. Do you ever find yourself on the brink of on the brink of having a panic attack? Like you know you're not going to freak out but you just feel so overwhelmed with your life that you wouldn't be surprised if you did?

I've been there for awhile now. The octopus that has been on my header for a couple of weeks--I didn't put it there just because I liked it. I felt it was very appropriate for my life as of late.

My life isn't super easy; I'm sick of trying to pretend that it is.

I'm doing too much stuff that doesn't matter and am not doing enough stuff that does matter.

I need more balance, more structure, more meaning.

I instinctively want to make lists, charts, schedules, goals, plans of actions, but my mind is just swimming in all of it--all the little boxes, the check marks, the stars, the smiley faces, the circles, the lines, the arrows, the squares, the different colors of ink.

So right now, I'm just taking it minute by minute and am trying to find the good, enjoy the passing minutes and just be cool.

In the next coming days, my posts will be more sunny. Tomorrow is May's birthday which means getting to look at baby pictures of her, which I like to do on my kid's birthdays. What's better than a sweet, fat, rolly-polly baby? And then Thursday I have my ultrasound and will hopefully find out the gender of this soon-to-be sweet, fat, rolly-polly baby so I've got some good minutes ahead. I can say that.

And that's how I'm doing today, thanks. And you?

Education

Dear Mrs. Ruby's Teacher,

Imagine my surprise last night when I opened up Ruby's backpack and found this:
What, exactly, are you teaching my child?

Just curious,
Annie Reynolds

May's Birthday Party

Even though she still has four more days until she's officially 3, this morning May had her first real birthday party with "her kids." It was nothing elaborate and there wasn't a theme, which was kind of nice and yes, very lazy of me, but May didn't care--it just consisted of things that she loves:

A crown for everyone to wear (click here for the easy tutorial)

Lots of gummy bears to eat, pink lemonade to drink and baby cupcakes to decorate

The girls made jewelry and played some games

And got their nails painted bright pink

It was simple and fun.

HOO!

My friend Bryn is having a baby boy and her shower was last night. One of the things I gifted her with was this polar fleece and wool felt owl I made.

His name is Vick. While I think Vick is pretty cute, I know he is not out-of-this-world-crazy cute, but believe me he's come a long way. You see, Vick started off as this weird teddy bear thing that looked like it just stepped out of a Lisa Frank sticker book (shudder) but out of survival, morphed into this most trendy owl.

I think Vick will be a nice distraction for the baby when it's needed. It will take the little guy awhile to figure out what exactly Vick is looking at.

HOO!

Not Boring

A couple of days ago, I posted about a kid I had dated. An old room mate, who was present for a lot of these wackos I encountered, posted a comment and said something like "Seriously, where did you find these guys?" What you have to understand is that while most girls' prerequisites for potential suitors included "nice" or "smart" or "spiritual" or "ambitious" or "confident" or "cute", my main one was "NOT BORING." Of course, all the other normal stuff went with that as well, but "not boring" was always tippy-top. Imagine my delight when I found Go who was absolutely not boring but also nice, smart, spiritual, ambitious, confident and cute.

I'd like to express this combination of notboring-nice-smart-spiritual-ambitious-confident-cute in a conversation that look place last night after the very masculine tooth fairy insisted on giving Ruby $1 for her second tooth (as opposed to the 50 cents that Miss Cheapy Pants Tooth Fairy was going to give her) because that's the amount he always got for his teeth:

Me: So Ruby's mouth bled a lot more this time after you pulled it.
Go: This tooth wasn't as ready. I mean, it was ready but her first tooth was hanging by a single strand and this one wasn't.
Me: Did it hurt her?
Go: No way. I've got skills. (Gives me a quick twist-and-yank maneuver with his hand for demonstration.)
Me: I bet between your own and all of your brother's, you've pulled out like over 100 teeth.
Go: You're probably right.
Me: And you guys probably did dumb stuff like tie strings from the tooth to a door knob and then slammed the door.
Go: When I was pulling out someone else's tooth, I did. But I usually just used pliers when it was my own.
Me: Pliers?
Go: Yah, like needle nose pliers.
Me: Why?!!!
Go: Because my teeth usually weren't ready to come out yet.
Me: Why in the WORLD would you pull out your teeth with needle nose pliers if they weren't ready to come out yet?
Go: (looks at me with a mixture of confusion and "duh") Because I got a WHOLE dollar. And I was procedurally-oriented.

Because I married this notboring-nice-smart-spiritual-ambitious-confident-cute, I get to hear stuff like this on a regular basis.

I really like my life.

D.C.

We took a weekend trip to D.C. this weekend to visit my in-laws while they were there for a conference and had a great time. I hadn't spent much time in D.C. before and I liked what I saw. It was way cooler, prettier and nicer than I expected. Kind of like how someone feels after they get to know me better. Oh, I kill myself. I really do.

Some pictures:

My very cool MIL holding a Madagascar cockroach at the Natural Science & History Museum. This is a woman born and raised in Vegas. Seeing her hold a cockroach, which are the banes of her existence, was pretty funny.
Ruby checking out some bees. Not impressed.
May almost hitting Go in the face at the zoo.
This is how the girls got to see most of the animals--being held simultaneously by the strongest man in the world.
Ruby picked up everything off the ground she came across, like this leaf, and added it to her "collection." It's a good thing D.C. is clean.
After seeing Kung-Fu Panda, May thought she might like to try to a tasty bamboo snack but quickly changed her mind.

Looking at an elephant.

I thought this elephant was rad. He's just snacking on some hay, with his legs crossed. And I'm quite sure it's a "he" because if he was a "she", she would have been too worried about varicose veins.

I Like Lykke Li

My hat's off to whomever chose the Music Video of the Week over at iTunes this week:

Tenderness

For a very short and unfortunate blip in my life, I dated a boy who called me "Tenderness." It started out as a joke, but then quickly stuck during the few months of our courtship, so much so that he probably even forgot my real name, which is why I feel I can totally blog about him because if he was ever creepy enough to Google me, he couldn't. Anyway, the relationship didn't end very well. I'd like to think that if I saw mostly any guy I dated years ago, today I could give him a friendly high-five and crack a joke about how weird it is that his wife looks exactly like me, proceeded by some overly exaggerated awkward winking, of course. But I can't because if I saw the boy who called me "Tenderness" today, I would just turn around and walk the other way. Even if I was in line for something good, like chocolate truffles. Or a grilled cheese sandwich.

Yesterday while at the grocery store, I was minding my own business, you know, cursing the pineapple for poking me or sticking some celery stalks up my nose, when an older couple strolled by with rickety elbows interlocked and I couldn't help but smile. Then, to my horror, the man turns to his wife and says "Tenderness, would you like me to bag the asparagus?" Ack! Memories! No thank you! I proceeded to flee the produce section immediately. I didn't even stop to get that head of lettuce I had wanted to play soccer with in the parking lot afterwards. Shoot.

Today's Confessions: a PhotoBooth Journal

1. Most of the time, I have wet hair:

2. This doesn't help hide my trailer-trash roots that I will have for quite awhile, thanks to a number of huge and unforseen bills we have recently received:


3. During a typical week, I only wear makeup on Sundays. So unfortunately, I look like this alot:

4. Fortunately, I think looking like a ragamuffin is funny:

5. These are sugar-free popsicles I buy for Ruby. I give her and May all the so-so red and orange ones and save all the more tasty yellow ones for myself:


6. We went apple picking and this box of apples has been sitting here in my living room for days. I will be attempting to bake my first ever apple pie this evening:

7. The size of my belly has doubled in the past couple of days. Last night, I was laughing at something Go said, when all of a sudden, I felt a stab of electric pain right in my core. Go thought he was so funny that he made me cry. He was a bit let down to realize I had just pulled a muscle in my ever-stretching abs and it hurt like a beast.

8. I got that dress at Wal-Mart.

Making a Spectacle of Herself

Ruby has joined the ranks of the Reynolds family and is now a glasses wearer. I bet she's the only one with Hannah Montana glasses, though. (...I say as I hang my head in shame.) Or maybe not...Dan.

She wanted to make sure I put every angle of her glasses up on the blog so that "Grandma knows exactly what they look like."


She took over ten pictures and really shot every possible angle but we compromised and agreed on four, plus an extra one:

This is her face painting she got done at the gym today. Believe me when I say that this butterfly was painted on the smoothest cheek east of the Mississippi.

May's Thoughts on the Baby

You know the baby I'm talking about. This one right here:

The girls keep referring to the baby as a boy. I think they might be right but (hopefully) we'll get to find out on the 30th.

This morning after Ruby exclaimed how big my stomach was getting, I told her how big the baby was and how much bigger it had to grow before it could come out. She asked to feel my tummy, so I stuck my belly out. Ruby rubbed it and said "Hello, baby" into my belly button, which she believes, along with my aunt Mary, is a communication device into the womb. I asked May if she wanted to feel, too. With great trepidation, May put her hand out, barely touched it, then quickly jerked her hand back, yelping "He tickled me!"

Then for the billionth time, Ruby asked when the baby would come and for the billionth time, I answered not for awhile, we have to wait all through winter. (Which I'm REALLY looking forward to. Gaaah.) All of a sudden, May stood up and yelled "And then he'll come and he'll poke out! And he'll be scary! A scary baby, Mama!"

Whoa. So true on so many levels.

Thankful for My Thankles

I wanted to put a new word out in the universe. My claim to have cankles, while deliciously self-deprecatingly humorous, isn't all that true. My ankles are not stumps that go right up into my calves, which is what cankles are, essentially. My ankles, while thick, are way smaller than my calves, so there's most definitely a difference in circumference between the two, thus making my claim to have cankles thankfully null and void. What I have are just thick ankles. Thus, let the word "THANKLES" be used from this time forth. Thank you.

17 Weeks and the Tummy Hath Emerged