A Love/Hate Relationship

I am on Day 1 of Phase 1 today. For the next two weeks, you can expect lots of cranky posts from me.

The Neighbors Must Hate Us

Before this picture was taken, a cinder block was removed, as well as an bright orange extention cord that was buried halfway underground for some reason. The people that lived in our townhome before us were very classy. Also removed was a patch of white rocks that they used as a litter box of sorts for their huge Husky. Nice. All they were missing was a cushionless couch with a couple of springs popping out of it, a three legged dog, a spit bucket and some old car batteries to complete their look. Those daffodils, etc. along the side of the house are my neighbor's. I wish they were mine. Also, those spikey bushes of his will bloom beautifully in a couple of months, even though they look pretty bad right now. Whatever, it's better than dirt. I have major yard envy.
When we moved our walkway was lined with Black Eyed Susans, a flower that I don't love but tolerated. The ones in this random picture look a lot better than the ones that were in my yard last summer.

About a week after we moved in, something happened and they got black spots all over them and died. I labored for hours pulling dried sticks out of the ground. So in the pic up above is what our front yard has looked like since then when it wasn't covered with snow. I know. Ew.
I've been anxiously awaiting spring so I can plant stuff - bushes, flowers and a tree. Spring has arrived my friends. What shall I do with this space? The possibilites are endless. Actually, that's not true. It's pretty much limited to the amount on my Lowe's gift card leftover from Christmas. So we'll see what we can scrape together. Stay tuned with Adventures in Gardening. I have no idea what I'm doing.

Discoveries

Ruby: "Hey Mom! When I push my eyeball really hard, I see two of you!"

Tour de Cure

Saturday, March 31st is the National Tour de Cure day. Gold's Gyms and other places around the nation will be participating in this event organized by the American Diabetes Assocation. I am voluteering as a spin instructor for part of the day on Saturday at our Gold's in Hershey. I am tempted to wear a big pin with this sweet face on it.

I am excited to be able to contribute to this cause somehow. I heard recently about a little girl back in Iowa younger than Ruby that was diagnosed a couple of weeks ago. My heart hurt for her and her family as I knew what they were going through and the feelings that poor young mother was having. She would be mourning the death of normalcy, trying to get a grip and figure this whole disease out without getting too freaked out, get as educated as she could as fast as she could and try to be brave and fake smiles when her newly diagnosed daughter looked to her for strength and comfort. This disease has changed our whole family's life. This is what a normal day entails for Ruby:
-Ruby wakes up and immediately needs to eat.
-I check her blood glucose levels, which involves poking her finger to get a drop of blood. I check these to determine what dosage of insulin she needs.
-She gets a shot of insulin, usually in her little bum which is now covered with little scars.
-She eats breakfast after I measure out all of her food so that she gets exactly 40 grams of carbohydrates. No more, no less. We now have several sets of measuring cups at our house.
-She gets a snack exactly 2 hours after breakfast to help the insulin tie her over until lunch.
-Two hours later at lunch we do the 2 pokes - the blood glucose check and the insulin injection again, and she received another 40 grams of carbohydrates.
-She gets a snack exactly 2 hours after lunch again.
-Two hours later at dinner, we do the same 2 pokes again, glucose check and injection and she gets another 40 grams of carbs
-Two hours after that, right before she goes to bed, I check her glucose levels again and she receives her last shot of the day, followed by a fatty, carby snack to hold her over at night
-For the first several months, we'd have to check her at midnight and at 3-4 am to make sure her glucose levels were ok. It was like having a newborn again. Thankfully that part is over.
But our lives have changed in many other ways other than the constant poking, the blood, the regimented diet and timing of meals, etc.
-Ruby now wears this medical bracelet with the word "DIABETES" embossed on it. It never comes off.

In the corner of our kitchen is a "sharps" dispenser - usually an old milk carton. Very lovely.
She must always be in some kind of organized sport or activity, to encourage her to have a healthy and active lifestyle. Activity keeps her levels where they should be. So far we've switched off between gymnastics and swimming lessons.
We have many sugar free/low carb foods around the house. Here is Ruby enjoying a sugar-free popcicle.

-Insulin is a growth hormone, so my tall girl is even taller than she normally would be.
-Her behavior is very dependent on her blood glucose levels. When she is acting naughty naughty, she is usually high. Constant high levels leads to problems later on like kidney failure, lost limbs, etc. When she is acting tired and whiny, she is usually low. Lows have a more immediate cause to worry - seizures, comas, etc. Needless to say, to keep her healthy, we have to run a tight ship. It is challenging though, when she starts acting up--is she really to blame? It's a hard thing to deal with.
-I carry the following things with me wherever I go: Blood glucose monitor, insulin, syringes, glucagon pen, glucose gel, and candy - all in case of emergencies. I've had to use everything but the glucagon pen. Let's hope I never have to use that - that is a last resort, if she was unconscious and couldn't swallow. I have to assume it will happen one day, so I will be ready.
-I never noticed how much candy she got offered before - at the store, at the mall, at the gym, at Church, etc. She is so good about it and always says "No. Sorry, I can't. I have Diabetes." With her lisp, it's even cuter. "Di-ah-bee-thee-th."
-At birthday parties, church functions, etc where desserts are served, I usually have to bring something else for her to eat instead. And she's always excited. "A sugar-free Jello cup! Oh boy!" She's so so good about it. She is my hero.
So if you're inclined to participate in a good cause this weekend, consider the Tour de Cure Spin-a-Thon. That's where I'll be.
In other news, I finished the underwater mural! Cash money millionaire!

My Playlist

Go has always gotten a kick out of how fast/often I can recognize a song, who sings it, etc. I can do this because for my entire life when driving in the car with my Dad, we would listen to the radio and he'd say "Who's this, Bean?" and if I didn't know it, he'd say "Yah, you do. Just listen to that guitar." or "Listen to the raspyness of his voice, who is that?" And we'd break the whole song down until I got it. If I went to parties, it would be my party trick. I would smoke everyone. So, a couple of years ago, Go made up this game: he would get on the computer and I would lay down on a nearby couch and angle myself so I couldn't see the computer screen. He would then go to the iTunes website, go to a celebrity's playlist, play each song and see how fast I could come up with the name and artist. Then after doing the entire playlist, I would have to guess who's playlist it was. It's great fun. Anyway, so we like the celebrity playlists. The celebrity often posts reasons why the song is in the playlist, etc. So just for toots, this is my playlist. It's not made up of any of our new and exciting music, I just chose 25 songs that I never get tired of and doubt I ever will.

1. "Dock of the Bay" – Otis Redding: "If I absolutely had to pick my all time favorite song, this would be it."

2. "Bruised" – The Bens: "Because of the way Ben sings the following lyrics: "I went because you said you’d be there, A box of candy, Smoke in your hair. I didn’t know, I didn’t care."

3. "Oh What a Night" – Four Seasons: "If someone pulled a gun to my head and made me karaoke, this is the song I’d sing."

4. "Ohio" – Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young: "The build up of the first 25 seconds of the song, I could listen to it over and over."

5. "You’re Cover’s Blown" – Belle and Sebastian: "This song was made to groove to."

6. "Read My Mind" – The Killers: "There’s something very bittersweet about this song. It gets to me."

7. "I’ve Just Seen a Face" – The Beatles: "The perfect song to dance to with my two little girls."

8. "Song 2" – Blur: "Woo-hoo!"

9. "Girl" – Beck: "Has all the key elements of a good Beck song."

10. "I Will Follow You Into the Dark" - Death Cab for Cutie: "I cried the first time I heard it."

11. "All These Things That I’ve Done" – The Killers: "The gospel choir gives me goose bumps every single time, still."

12. Daft Punk is Playing At My House" – LCD Soundsystem: "If I had to dance to one song for the rest of my life, this would be the one."

13. "Pink Moon" – Nick Drake: "Just a classic."

14. "The Only Living Boy in New York" – Simon & Garfunkle: "This is Go’s all time favorite song. It reminds me of him."

15. "Army" – Ben Folds Five: "Because of these genius lyrics: In this time of introspection, On the eve of my election, I say to my reflection, God please spare me more rejection, Cause my peers they criticize me, And my ex-wives all despise me, Try to put it all behind me, But my redneck past is nipping at my heels."

16. "Sweet Dreams" – Eurithmics: "This was my favorite song as a child."

17. "Hallelujah" - Jeff Buckley: "Yes, I know, it's really Leonard Cohen's but I like it best performed by Jeff Buckley."

18. "I’d Rather Dance with You" – Kings of Convenience: "I think this is the most often played song on our iTunes."

19. "My Sharona" – Knack: "Um, do I even need to explain?"

20. "I Turn My Camera On" – Spoon: "A pleasantly eerie tune."

21. "Hey Hey What Can I Do" - Led Zeppelin: "You've got to blast this one and sing at the top of your lungs to truly appreciate this song."

22. "Sleeping With the Lights On" - Teitur: "For melodramatic moods."

23. "Dear Lord" - Joseph Arthur: "The harmonica does it for me."

24. "City Walls" - Matt Hopper: "A sweet and simple little ditty."

25. "Trouble" - Cat Stevens: "Harold and Maude."

Girls, girls, girls

Both of my girls have seemed to love clothes and shoes from a very young age.
This is Ruby when she was about May's age. She brought me these clothes to put on her.

She has always liked picking out her outfits. Now that she's a little older, she still does. They usually include this skirt:



May seems to have a thing for shoes. Big shoes.

Dumb Things Guys Say

Hidden away in the back of our bookshelves is a little gem of a book called Dumb Things Guys Say. The authors were me and my room mates. Most of them read this blog, which is why I am posting the Top 10 Ten Dumb Things Guys Said to Us chosen by me, the keeper of the Dumb Things Guys Say book. We started it one particularly bitter night and continued to add to it over a span of a couple of years, basically until we all got married. We began it our sophomore year which was pretty much the worst year for most of us. After reading our entries again, I am reminded of some of the guys we had "encounters" with, for lack of a better all-encomposing word and I just shake my head in shame for us all. I have to admit though, most of the entries I don't remember which guy said what to which girl, as I've tried to erase larger parts of that year from my memory. Here are my favorite 10 that I picked out of the 123 entries. Actually, most of my real favorites aren't funny unless you're aware of the backstory so I didn't include those out of courtesy of those reading who didn't live in our apartment.

Top Ten Dumb Things Guys Said to Us
10. "You look terrible...I mean...tired."
9. "Don't you want to know your score?"
8. "You totally remind me of my ex. She was born in the 80's, too."
7. "Do you mind if I only walk you half way?"
6. "Your eyes are the same color as diarrhea."
5. "You're such a chick."
4. "I don't date girls from California. Don't let me kiss you."
3. "It doesn't matter. It's my Dad's money, anyway."
2. "I even talk to fat people."
1. "Hey Butt Hole! Sup?!!"

*NW6 girls - if you comment on this post, please refrain from using any "real" names because I might vomit if you do. Resort to any of their old nicknames if needs be: "Poison", "Charisma", "Polar Bear", "The Bearded Man", "80's-Soap-Opera-New-Zealand-Boy", "Stupid Face", "Lame Boy", etc. Actually, I can only remember who some of these names go to...I just wanted to post them because they were in the book and it made me laugh.

Today:

1. I forgot to wear green.

2. I played raquetball with Go. We did not keep score.

3. I ate some of Go's Crab Florentine Eggs and discovered I had definitely ordered the wrong thing.

4. In the car, I realized I had been singing the wrong lyrics to "What a Fool Believes" by the Doobie Brothers. I hate the song. Apparently I'm subconsciously racist because for all of these years I have been singing "a white man has the power" when it is really "no wise man has the power." I guess that's what you get for listening to classic rock radio. You're subjected to the Doobie Brothers.

5. My Mom called me to tell me that for the past 3 nights, she has had dreams about twins. "So be careful" she said. Uh, thanks Mom.

6. We returned a really lame movie to Blockbuster: "Mostly Martha." A couple different people had recommended it to me, probably because they knew I like foreign films. The movie had this constant saxophone playing in the background, it was killing me.

7. I went to Wal-Mart with the rest of the masses. It took me for-ev-er to get out of that place. I cannot wait until we can afford NOT to shop there.

8. I shoveled the driveway and walkway to our front door. The snow was fluffy and easy to push. I almost enjoyed it.

9. I watched a DVR'd Scrubs episode from Thursday and laughed my bottom off. There was a segment about stealing scrubs that was perfect. We have so many pairs of scrubs at our house, it's ridiculous.

10. I ate perogies for the first time. Unfortunately, I think I'm in love.

Young Mothers, Unite!

Seriously, what's better than this?

I am 26. I will be 27 in July. In today's society I'm considered pretty young to be married and to have 2 kids. Until just recently, every day when I'd wake up to one of my girl's voices, it would send a little surreal shock down my spine. In those first few hazy moments of the morning, I'd expect to open my eyes to my yellow bedroom back in Irvine and hear the crows cawing in the eucalyptus trees outside while I tumbled out of bed and made my way for the bathroom so I could brush my retainer. But in the past year or so, I've become used to the idea that I'm settled down, am married, have children. I'm a stay at home mom and have accepted this as my life, not that it was hard to accept or contrary to what I've always wanted and expected to happen but it's just taken some time. And I've realized that it's been moving to PA that has helped this along. Since moving here, I've had to defend myself and my age almost on a weekly basis. I have had comment after comment made to me about how I'm too young to be married and have two children. For example: a couple months back, I had just finished teaching a spin class and was sitting on a chair in the spin studio, taking off my cycle shoes when I was approached by four women in their 40's who had just taken my class, during which I mentioned something Ruby and May. You know, a little instructor banter. "We just have to ask", one of them said, her voice dripping with (insincere) apologies, "...how old are you?" I was a little taken aback. The women blinked and waited for my answer. I gave a little laugh and said "I'm 26." "And you have TWO children!" one of them said horrified, looking to the other women who mirrored her screwed up face. "Yes, " I replied still smiling, trying to be polite. "How old were you when you got MARRIED?" another asked. I told them and gave them my whole time line since they were so interested and they proceeded to shake their heads like it was the saddest thing they had ever heard and went on to say how they waited until after their careers to have children, that way they were more mature and ready to take on the responsibilities of motherhood and "isn't it just a shame today, these young mothers getting pregnant before they've really experienced what life has to offer." This bothered me. Excuse me, but I am experiencing what life has to offer. I'm raising children and since when did that lose importance? Since then, I have run into that scenario more often than I'd like but somehow it's made me more comfortable with my age and my situation, more firm in my convictions that what I'm doing is just as important as anything else, dare I say, more important. It's probably like what happened to me so many times in middle school and high school with constantly having to defend my religion - the more I did it, the more confident I was in defending it, being apart of it and letting it help shape my identity. So thanks rude ladies. Thank you for helping shape my identity of a young mother in today's sometimes disapproving society. And I just have to ask. How old are you?

I've been commissioned.

A friend I've made here (yes, I'm actually starting to make friends!) has commissioned me to paint a Pennsylvania landscape in oil paints. 24"x36". That's pretty big. I've never painted a landscape before. And I'm still not completely friends with oils so this will be challenging. Hope I don't blow it. I'm actually trying to paint one that I've pieced together from 3 different photographs, which I hope will not look as awkward as I'm predicting it might but I'm trying to have a little faith in myself. All I can do is try it, right?

Also, I am almost done with the "underwater" mural I've been painting on a friend of a friend's (yes, another friend!) 25 ft(?) basement wall. It hit me the other day: I'm actually making money as an artist. Wow, there's a dream come true. I will post pictures when the mural is finshed (it looking great) and post updates on the landscape.

Oh, Christian.

This is Christian Bale.

He was my first famous-guy-crush and consequentely the longest lasting. Yes, yes, I know he has been in some nasty gross movies but I didn't see them, so I can still like him, ok? Last night we saw "The Prestige." I highly recommend the movie, whether you're in love with Christian Bale or not. It was really, really good.

Pictures from yesterday

My camera dock was being dumb yesterday and wouldn't transfer these photos. Here are Ruby and May enjoying their new books that Princess Heather sent. Have I mentioned my girls are crazy?

Ode to Heather

This is my dear friend Heather. Or "Princess Heather" as Ruby calls her. She is one of the biggest reasons I have so many great memories from middle school and high school. She was usually the one to get our fun ideas off the ground and make them realities. She has always been the voice of reason, generous and caring. She has her priorities straight. She knows when to say things and when to hold her tongue. She has been there for me in times of need, sat me down to break unfortunate news, has organized trips to come and see me at college and PA, coming to my rescue during my hardest times. She is always willing to help in any way she can. She loves my kids and I love her for that.

We first became friends in 7th grade; we had the same TA (homeroom) and we are still close friends today.
Though I don't have any pictures from middle school, I have many pictures from high school and after that chronicles some of the fun times we've had together.

She always threw great birthday parties. One year it was on a boat sailing around Newport. We felt like rock stars.

Another year it was a bounce house in her front yard.

With a pinata in the back yard.

This is the peroxide she insisted she pour on my scraped leg that day. Don't remember how I did that--doing something stupid, no doubt.

She always added to the fun of high school.



She helped push my bus when I needed to jump start it...which was a lot.

We went to Palm Springs for our Senior trip - all planned and organized by Heather. I believe this picture was taken after I threw up. She was the one to hold my hair.

We would get together whenever we both came back from school for the summer.

She was the main push behind the trip she and 2 of my other good friends took to come and see me in Provo - a town she never, ever wanted to visit. We almost died that weekend. Seriously. I can't even think about it, it freaks me out...

She is always up for a good time.

She was there for my Bachelorette weekend...well for most of it anyway. :)

She was there long enough to buy me these red shoes as a wedding present. Don't you hate how Victoria Secret's dressing room doors lock you out?

She came out to see me in PA right after we moved here. She must have known that I needed a friend. And a babysitter for a night on the town with my husband. She learned how to give Ruby her shots and didn't even bat an eye.

She convinced her Aunt to sell my little purses in her boutique store. Bears, Buddies, and Toys! and even went out of her way to go pick one up for me, went to the post office, probably stood in line forever, just to mail it to me. She always goes above and beyond. She is getting married in a couple of months and someday will make an excellent mother. For the time being though, she'll just have to keep on spoiling my kids. :) This is Ruby and Heather at Bears, Buddies and Toys stuffing a bright pink poodle. Ruby got to pick it out. We came home from the store with our hands full of goodies from Heather: tiaras, fairy wands, etc.

And today for no reason at all we got books in the mail from her, which my girls have been looking at all afternoon. She understands my need for peace and quiet once in awhile.
How I love my friend Heather. I hope everyone has at least one friend in their life like her. Thanks for everything, G-Funk.

The Legend of Go

So this is Go. He is known as Brandon to most people, but not to me, his family, my family, people who have known him since he was a little boy or people who have been around his family quite a bit. When people learn of his name, which is really more than a nickname--his mother and I have encouraged him to legally it to "Go"but to no avail--they ask why. So here is the story. It's not very interesting but people always want to know, so here you go:


After his mom gave birth to him in the hospital, his dad took his two older brothers to go see the Disney classic "Pete's Dragon." Straight from the movie, they went to go see their mom and new baby brother. Still having images from "Pete's Dragon" fresh in their minds, they commented on how much he looked like one of the Gogans (being only 4 and 2 years old, they pronounced it as "Go-gums), the mean family from the movie. After that, he was never Brandon again, but "Gogums", which quickly got shortened to "Go", though his mother still calls him "Gogums" at times. So there's the story. Rivoting, wasn't it? He hates telling it; it's always a let down to the listener, he thinks.

The first time I really hung out with him, my room mate and I along with several other people, piled into a car in Provo to find a jacuzzi that was better than the cest pool they had at the Colony Apartments where we both lived. He was the last to get in. "Come on, Go, get in the car" his room mate said. The only place to sit was on my lap. Turning towards me, he said "I bet this is closer than you ever wanted to be to me." Little did he know that I had been keeping my eye on him from afar for the past 2 years, as we were in the same art history class one semester of my freshman year and had dubbed him "Art History Boy."
"Yah, you kinda reek." I probably said. I have always been an excellent flirt.
When I heard his room mate call him "Go", I thought "Wow, that seems to really fit him. Much more then "Brandon." He didn't seem like a Brandon to me. He doesn't seem like a Brandon to himself. But I continued to call him Brandon for a couple of weeks, because it was the safe thing to do. I believe I also called him "Sweet Cheeks" a couple of times, as that's what he usually signed the messages as that he left me on the whiteboard we kept in our apartment. Early in our dating days, he invited me and my room mate, along with his room mate to go with his family up at their cabin for General Conference. After hearing all those people call him Go the entire weekend, I could no longer think of him as Brandon. I gradually began to call him Go and have never turned back. Here is a picture from our early dating days.


Today, when I talk about him with people who only know him as Brandon, I call him "Brandon", though saying that name sounds totally weird and forced, which it is. But I've always done it out of courtesy, I guess. But since I view this blog as a journal of sorts, I use his name "Go." So there you go. Clarification.