First Day of First Grade

Five Tids and Bits

1. I ran in a 5K this morning. Though my time was laughable and I was embarrassed by the the varieties of the demographics of those who passed me, I never stopped running, which was my ultimate goal. I really should have trained beforehand. Maybe next time.






















2. Does anyone else's kids get increasingly difficult, over-emotional, and even more demanding than usual as the summer winds down? Hm. School starts Monday. Breathe deep.









3. I have a very mysterious rash on my hands. It looks like a chemical burn or maybe I sprayed my hands with something that acted like a sunburn propellant because in a spotty, spray-like pattern, it's darker than the rest of my skin and has started to peel and blisters whenever I work out. It's weird. I asked a derm guy about it and he said "Hm...looks like dermatitis." Gee. Thanks. He apparently forgot I was a resident's wife and I'm fully aware that "dermatitis" is a fancy blanket-term for rashes, all rashes, any rash at all. So even our smart, nice derm friend doesn't know. And YOUR WELCOME for not including a picture of a way nasty rash.

4. Go performed two reconstructive surgeries on a good friend of our's face last week. These were officially his first surgeries done on someone we know, per her request. I don't blame her. If I had to have anyone I know sew me up, it would be Go. Yes, he's mine but he is a detail-oriented, thoughtful, careful, steady-handed artist-genius boy.








5. It's almost September. But still August. Nevertheless, every year since I moved away from CA, it's around this time I start having anxiety about the impending winter season. I really, really wish I didn't do this. I used to think if I could change one thing about myself, it would be my nose. Then I accepted it's girth and focused my dissatisfaction elsewhere: to my ankles, but then I started working out regularly and they slimmed down a bit. Now I'd definitely be eliminating my seasonal depression.

Or maybe chewing my gum in less a horse-like fashion.

It's a toss up.

Week 24

May's First Day of Preschool

She was really excited.

...in case you couldn't tell...

This is Not Olive

This is Ruby at 5 months,
which is the spitting image of Olive currently.
Ruby even had the same clogged tear duct in her left eye like Olive does.

Summer Trip 2009

Some highlights of the trip:

The big orange balloon. The pictures don't do the thing justice--it's HUGE. It can take up to 30 people up at a time, 500 feet into the air and then goes back down. It was wild.Ruby closed her eyes and made sure

she was holding on to something or someone
the entire time.
May was fine.Several hours over several days spent at Crystal Cove.
Swimming.
Which May takes very seriously.
as does John.
My Dad was trying to convince May to jump to him. This is his "no big deal" face, apparently.
Sarah and Harry's wedding and reception, which I didn't bring my camera to.
Sarah and Harry's open house in Vegas which I DID bring my camera to, per my MIL's request.

A nephew of mine, who is rad and who I want to be when I grow up.

A niece of mine who is sweet and much smarter than I am.

Another niece, who is just as sweet
and held May's hand the entire time at the open house,
which of course, made me want to stick her in my pocket
and take her home with me.

Some of the "flower girls" jumping on the trampoline,
which is a typical Reynolds open house activity.

And a bunch of other stuff not pictured, like SeaWorld and LaJolla.
I'm lazy.

The Best Part

While getting her hair washed in prep for getting her hair cut, this
is how she sat on the chair, like she was a sacrificial lamb about to
be slaughtered. And if you ask my husband and apparently my brother,
that's basically what she was.
But even Go would admit that this sassy hair cut totally fits her
sassy self and not to mention frames those big, soft cheeks and little
square chin PERFECTLY.

May Jumps on the Inverted Bob Band Wagon

The Tale of Olive Confusing the Costco Employee: A True Story

Olive was a baby who made the crustiest of crumungeons coo back at her in the line at the pharmacy. She was chubby and bright eyed, always looking for the next person to smile at. Her smile and wriggle combo could melt the tattoo sleeves right off of roughest and toughest of fish mongers. Even the persnicketiest of germaphobes couldn't resist nibbling on Olive's perfect rubbery toes. She was plain delicious. She did have one odd trait, though. When it started to near nap time, Olive would growl like a mountain lion. Although this sounded like an angry growl, it never was. She was happy and still smiling, just tired and growling.

One day while at Costco with her family, while her sisters were over in the electronics department with their Dad, following him around while he dreamed and drooled over gigantic televisions and fandangled blue-ray players, Olive stayed with her Mom at the check out line, waiting to spend way more money than they wanted to, like every other Costco trip before.

Suddenly Olive felt very tired. She decided to growl a happy little tune, something that sounded like a wolverine attacking a kitten. She smiled and growled and kicked her chubby legs. Her Mom squished her legs and kissed her cheeks and tickled her neck and zurberted her belly. She growled back happily in reply, sounding like a cougar birthing a billy goat--the real animal kind of cougar. Not the older lady who preys on younger men-cougar. We all know that the billy goat-birthing ship has sailed for those types of cougars. Upon hearing this extremely loud and strange sound, a Costco employee, who had yet to behold the butteryness of Olive and her cheery demeanor began ringing up their odd assortment of purchases (horseradish cheese, toilet paper, and a case of Izze fruit drinks) said "Well, someone's not happy." Olive's mother, who stupidly couldn't stand the thought of a stranger thinking of her beloved baby as a stinker, pointlessly replied with "She's just tired. She's still happy, though." The Costco employee, who should have just said "Oh", said "That doesn't sound very happy to me." Olive's mother, who had a tendency to get snippy when hungry and when spending money, rebuttaled. "No, really. She's still smiling. She just growls really violently and really loudly when it's time to take a nap." Olive's mother, who also had a tendency to give more information than people needed or cared to know, continued. "Yah, one of my other girls used to do this too when they were tired but never this loud. I can't remember which one used to do it..." The Costco employee, who apparently had a long day said "You're telling me that baby is happy?" Olive's mother, challenged, put on her game face, which was the same face she made when thinking about marzipan. Olive's mother did not like marzipan. "Take a look at her!" Olive's mother said, gesturing to Olive, who was still growling and squawking away like a cat in heat mixed with a bison who stubbed its hoof. "See? She's happy." "Well, that's the maddest sounding happy baby I've ever seen. I just don't get it," replied the Costco employee and shook her head like it was the craziest thing she had ever heard. And even though Olive's horrible mother wanted to part ways with a snarky and uncalled-for "Maybe that's why you work at Costco, genius," she didn't. She just punched in her code for her debit card and kissed half of her husband's pay check good-bye on a thirty pack of Charmin Ultra Soft.

THE END.

Sent from my iPhone

Week 23

I Annoy Myself

I had a friend at BYU who was there on a vocal performance scholarship. At any given moment, he'd burst into song. And not just any song, like loud, booming Jack-Black quasi-opera. He'd be ordering a shake or something and he be all "Yah, and I'd like an OOOOOOOOREO SHAAAAAAAAKE (dramatic hand-raising guesture) PAH-LEEEEEEEEEEASE!!!!! And you guys take debit cards, right? Thanks." It was bizarre and totally amusing. Especially since he claimed he didn't even realize he did it.

Today, I realized that I have a habit like this.

I'll be telling a story or something and then all of a sudden, I'll start talking exactly like Kip Dynamite. Spot on. Without even realizing it. Why do I do this? What does this say about me and my subconscious? Wait, don't answer that.

RAD.

It's official.
I need to learn how to play the harmonica.

3 Niños

Three and a Half Weeks is a Long Time

Strides taken during our month long trip back to CA:
-Ruby learned how to blow a bubble with her gum
-May learned how to whistle
-Ruby lost her 8th tooth
-And her front teeth finally started to grow in
-I bought my first ever big-girl perfume: Joe Malone's Nectarine Blossom and Honey
-Olive finally started being able to be fed a bottle once in awhile
-Sarah Eaton is now my sister in law
-Ruby learned how to do somersaults in the water
-I body boarded and body surfed for the first time in a couple of years
-May doesn't scream on the side of the pool anymore
-Olive grabs and holds onto things
-I can run three miles without stopping


Steps backwards during our month long trip back to CA:
-Ruby and May have forgotten how to obey me
-Ruby and May have forgotten how to say "please" and "thank you"
-Olive wakes up every hour, on the hour all night long

THIS CALLS FOR BOOT CAMP.


























Or a straight jacket.

Week 22

Coming to you live from Crystal Cove.

Week 21

Shmooshy.

Dear Go

Wish you were here.

My Baby's Hair Accessory Can Beat Up Your Baby's Hair Accessory

A Conversation I Just Had

Ruby: I'm so glad I have a mole on my neck.

Me: ...uh...good. I'm glad that you're glad.

Ruby: Do you have moles on your neck?

Me: Yep. I have lots of moles. So does Daddy. So that means you'll
have a bunch of moles, too.

Ruby: Why?

Me: Because we passed our moley genes on to you.

Ruby: Really? Thank you so much, Mom. You have no idea how much that
means to me.

Sent from my iPhone

Yesterday's Visit

Olive stayed home with my Mom while the bigger girls and I went to Crystal Cove with my Dad. It was gorgeousimo and the girls were in heaven.

Goodbye Beach. See You Tomorrow.

Sigh. Again.

Letters Written After Helping Chaperone an Irvine Stake Dance

Dear Hall Rats,
Instead of hanging out in the hallway and texting the entire time, how about you go inside and do the Cha Cha Slide?

Love,
Me

Dear Cute Boy With The Curly Hair,
Even though you decided to accessorize with a red bandana hanging out of your back pocket, you're still really cute. It probably creeps you out that an almost-thirty year old mother of three would do this, but last night, I secretly dubbed you as The Boy I Would Have Kind of Stalked 15 Years Ago.

Love,
Me

Dear Tall Girl With The Perfect Figure, Perfect Hair, Perfect Teeth, Perfect Everything,
It would be so great if you went and asked a short little shy guy to dance and was sincerely nice to him. Oh, and before you did it, I would like to be notified so I could witness it. I've never seen a grown boy pee his pants before.

Love,
Me

Dear Girl Who Reminded Me of Myself 15 Years Ago,
Stop talking so loud and reinacting that SNL skit out in the hallway. You're just stalling because you know you're going to head back into that gym and eventually a slow song will come on. You may get asked, you may not. If you don't get asked after 3.5 seconds, instead going to the drinking fountain and standing in line to get a drink, swallow your pride and go over to that cute boy with the curly hair and ask him to dance. While you're there, yank that ridiculous red bandana out of his back pocket.

Love,
Me

P.S. - Don't be intimidated by The Tall Girl With The Perfect Figure, Perfect Hair, Perfect Teeth, Perfect Everything. You may not know it now, but you'll come to figure out later on that you're just as good as she is.


Dear Kid Wearing The Shiny Jacket, Gigantic Tie And Pants With The Huge Multicolored Polkadots,
Yes. We all see you. Mission accomplished.

Love,
Me

Dear Little Spazzy Girl,
Instead of striking poses alone in the corner of the room while everyone else slow dances, you might want to consider heading to the restroom for the duration of the song? Or how about just going and asking someone to dance? May I suggest asking the guy wearing the shiny jacket, giantic tie and pants with the huge multicolored polkadots? I think you guys would really hit it off.

Love,
Me