Here's To Not Quite Being a Real Person Yet

Last Saturday I attended a writer's workshop/conference that was from 8:30 until 4:30.  That's, like, an entire day.  Do you realize what that means?  I was out of the house, without my children, interacting with other adults for 8 hours straight.  I love my kids, but man, it was so great to be out in the world, meeting interesting people and learning new things.  I can't decide if I loved it because it was focusing on a subject matter I totally into or because I actually got to go somewhere and do something for longer than just an hour.  This would have been unheard of during residency, it almost felt naughty.  I walked into the conference and as the facilitators looked for my name tag, my eyes started to water--I was so grateful just to be there, to have the opportunity.  I felt like I could give Maya Angelou a fist bump and be like "Yah, I know why the caged bird sings, but lady, that bird will sing so much louder once she's out."

I've been working on my book almost every day for about 2-4 hours, writing during nap time and sometimes at night and have been absolutely loving it. Even though I miss doing other things like artwork or other projects, I'm glad I've poured myself and my free time into this.   It's given me something to work on while I've been living here at my in-laws.  Projects and hobbies are hard to do while living in someone else's house, so writing is the perfect thing right now, especially during these last handful of months before the summer, when I'm getting really, really itchy to be in our own place.  So as hard as it is after 7 months, it's actually good that I'm still here.  It would have been harder to buckle down and write if I was in my own house for some reason.

This book I'm working on has given me something else to dwell on other than all the unknowns that are currently in our near future.  I love thinking about these characters throughout the day. I know them; they are my friends.  They are inspired and are conglomerations of people I've loved in my life.  So far I'm enjoying the process more than anything else I've put my energy into, ever.   I hope to be finished with a first draft at the end of May, right before we move out and I become a real person.  I've always wondered what being a real person would be like.

Opportunities

Right after Ruby was born, I had quite a bit of weight to lose, remember?  And remember how I finally started going to the gym and doing something besides sitting in the women's locker room, avoiding eye contact with the saggy breasts of old ladies and reading magazines?  I started attending spin because it was the one class that happened to fit in between Ruby's rigid nap schedule and fell in love with it.  Then the spin instructor moved away and the class was cancelled, so I would go spin by myself down in the gym basement, not knowing (or caring, if I'm really being honest) that it was strictly forbidden for a civilian to be spinning unsupervised.

Gym Worker: Uh, hey.  You aren't supposed to be in here right now.

Me:  Oh, no way.  Really?

Gym Worker: Yah, you can be in here during class but you have to be an instructor if you want to be down here alone.  

Me:  Be an instructor, huh?  How do I do that?

He invited me upstairs to the reception counter and gave me all the information I needed.  It turned out that a spin instructor certification class JUST HAPPENED to be starting at a neighboring gym that EXACT week and that the end certification, the half-day workshop at a fitness convention in Chicago JUST HAPPENED to be scheduled for the EXACT weekend I was going to be in Chicago any way.  It was at that moment, when I asked that half-ton polo shirt-clad gorilla how one becomes an instructor, that my life totally changed.  That sounds dramatic, I know.  But it's true.  Before then, fitness meant very little to me.  It was a source of contention between my fitness-loving husband and I.  It intimidated me.  But when I became an instructor that fall and for the 9 years that followed, teaching spin played a major role in my life. Not only did I love it, but it brought me a lot of confidence--discovering something I was good at that I wouldn't have ever dreamed I could do.  It sanded down a major bump that had developed between Go and I.  On some days, it was the only reason I got out of bed during the dark winters of the Midwest and East Coast.  It saved me from what most likely would have been the road to obesity.  It helped make ends meet for our family.  Teaching spin was a huge, huge blessing and it was just, like, handed to me.

Something similar has happened lately.  A couple of weeks ago, around the time I decided I was going to start writing again to try and finish this novel I've been working on forever, a new friend I have here asked if I wanted to be apart of a writing group.  Her timing was perfect!  The two of us met up, talked about our projects, our goals, etc. and it was exactly what I needed to help get me restarted.  Then we met up again, this time with two others, one of whom is a published author of several books.  I had a bajillion questions for her but tried to whittle them down to just a mere million. From that meeting, I learned a lot of things, one of them being that the Nevada chapter of the Society of Children's Book Writers and Illustrators (which I am now a member of) is JUST HAPPENING to be having its yearly writer's workshop this Saturday and it JUST HAPPENS to be located literally around the corner from where I'm currently living and I JUST HAPPENED to get registered just in the nick of time before the deadline.  Now, I'm not saying that my book will definitely end up being worth reading or publishing-worthy, all thanks to the hour I spent on my friend's couch, asking the question "How do I do that?", that I will grow and be stretched, discover things about myself, solve some problems and benefit my life a great deal, but...that would be really nice if it did.  You never know.  It's happened before.

Finishing the Novel I've Been Working on For the Past Five,Yes Count Them, FIVE Years

I am embarking on an exciting creative adventure. More to come.

Labels for Olive's Dresser Drawers

This counts? Yah, sure it counts.

Ms. Foxy Fancy Pants

"Gregor! I do believe the help have sneezed into my beet and duck confit salad! The balsamic vinegarette tastes suspiciously over-salted!"

I Never Said They Would Be Any Good

Yesterday the girls and I sat down with the art supply box here at Grandma Caren's and Papa Tommy's and got our creativity on. I made something that was sort of a cool idea but a lame execution. It also served no purpose whatsoever. But that's ok. It's all ok.

2013

(Image: Maynard Dixon's Cloud World)

I love January and a new year.  I love clean slates.  I really want 2013 to be a wonderful year and this is how I'm going to make it such:

By:
1.  ...doing something creative every day.
-Whether it be with paper, music, words, fabric, food, etc.  I will post my attempts on this blog--art is to be shared.   Creativity usually isn't something I have ever felt the need to put extra effort or extra focus on--it usually just happens naturally for me but since the birth of my fourth, the well is dry, so to speak.  It's time to rediscover my creative self, which I feel is a huge component to the person I am and something I've really felt the loss of during the year 2012.  Now the Juniper is getting older and easier, I can focus on this again which really excites me.   I'm excited to involve the girls in this as well.

2.  ...spending less time alone with electronic things and more time with organic things and the people I love.
-This goes along with #1 but in a different way.  I have a serious addiction to all things electronic and it's getting in the way of things that are much more important, like spending quality time with my family and soaking up the girls' fleeting childhood.  (Admittance in the first step to recovery.) In regards to resolution #1, this blog will be updated during times when my girls are asleep or otherwise occupied and/or after I have spent a little time with Go each day.

3.  ...eating clean and working out consistently.

-This is something I have been working really hard on since December 1st.  I have woken up at 5:35am  every M/W/F and at 6am every T/Th to hard-core work out.   I have gone without sweets, for the most part, for a month.  I have eaten more vegetables than I thought humanly possible.  I have lessened my portions which goes against my natural tendency and capacity to eat as much as , if not more, than a large, burly man.  I have a certain goal in mind to meet by March 1st and I'm hoping to meet it by doing what I've been doing.  I plan to update the blog with my progress and personal victories every now and then, because that's what they are for me--total victories.  I don't know if weight loss, breaking bad habits and starting new better ones is as hard for everyone, but it's so, so, SO hard for me.   Like, SOOOOOO hard. Our bodies are gifts and I want to make the most of mine by being healthy and strong.

4.  ...deepening my relationship with God.
-This will be done with more sincere prayer, scripture study and temple attendance.  As opposed to just scripture reading, I'm making an effort through journaling while I study the scriptures to really apply the things I read and think about to my life . Also, now that we live so close to a temple, our temple attendance needs to be more regular and I'm looking forward to that, to really ponder the things that I learn there.  This progress will not be shared on the blog; it's sacred and personal.

5. ...eliminating negative thoughts and focusing on the positive.  I don't really know a concrete way to do this, but being more aware of my blessings and somehow keeping this at the forefront of my mind will do the trick.  I may be making myself some sort of reminder for one of my creativity projects.

I proclaim 2013 to be the year of creativity, love, health, spirituality and positivity!

Olive Getting Real via My Brother's Instagram