The other day, I overheard a conversation between two women, one of them exclaiming how exhausted she was and due to of various circumstances, their family had been in "survival mode" for the past couple of days. Usually, I wiggle myself into conversations with the greatest of ease but this time I just sat back and listened. She described the elements of her "survival mode"-- not getting enough sleep, letting dishes sit in the sink overnight, her kids fingernails getting longer before they should, running from place to place constantly late, having an overworked husband who hadn't been home and having to do everything herself, feeling like she couldn't catch a break, money was tight, constantly playing catch-up, two steps forward, one step back, etc. I thought about how familiar it all sounded, but realized that has been life...everyday...for the past four years. It made me sad to think that this life of mine that I love, though hard at times, was a "survival mode." I thought of friends of mine, with their husband's cushy 9-5 jobs, their healthy children, their lack of school loans, their beautiful, clean homes in their picket fence-lined neighborhoods, their weekly trips to the mall, their babysitters, their book clubs, their children's preschool enrollment, their pedicured toes, their cleaning ladies, their impeccable upkeep on their highlights, their family right around the corner, etc and felt a pang of envy. But immediately, I reminded myself of my friends with their barely-there husbands, their children with special needs, their children with severe illnesses, their income below the poverty line, their months of unemployment, their lack of transportation, their single-parenthood, their bad relationship with their in-laws, their never having been to the ocean, their infertility, their failing marriages, their lack of a dishwasher and other appliances, deaths in their families, their addictions, their bad neighborhoods, their having to deal with depression, their backwards housing market, their failing businesses, etc. and despite their problems--they are happy. Those women probably felt like they had been in survival mode for years, too and probably thought of my life as a freaking cake walk. But then I thought back to my friends with seemingly perfect lives. They undoubtedly have complaints as well, ones that do not show on the surface. So instead of dismissing their struggles and feeling like these women could use a whopping dose of reality, they're dealing with their own issues. Everyone is. I'm not one to get caught up in quotes really, but the statement "Be kinder than necessary, for every one you meet is fighting some sort of battle" really rings true. Maybe that's what life really is--figuring out how to be happy during one big, long survival mode.
