This Morning's Thoughts

Having just one kid at home all day (8:30 am - 4 pm--have you ever heard of a kindergarten day as long as this one?) is weird. And when I say "weird" what I really mean to say is easy. It's easy because it's May. She's quiet, except when she decides to talk, then she yells whatever she's saying. It's not her fault--she has tonsils the size of pomegranates and has to force a lot of air our to get any sound past those things. But for the most part, she just sort of tweedles around the house and amuses herself. The other day she played with playdough for an hour. AN HOUR. This is a foreign concept to my oldest child who I love beyond words but who has an attention span of three minutes and completely wears me out. Ruby sticks to me like crazy glue, follows me around and asks me questions, most of which I either cannot answer or the explanation takes a long time and only leads to more questions. If I give her a task or an activity to distract her from the incessant questioning, I know I only have 3 minutes to try to subside the ringing in my ears. I love Ruby. I love that she's this way. I'm just saying it's tiring. If Ruby would have been there the day May played with playdough for an hour, Ruby would have rolled out one snake and then it would have been "Hey, Mom. Why do snakes have so many bones? Why do they shed their skin like that? Why don't people shed their skin like that? I want a snake. Can we have a snake? Daddy had a snake when he was little. Why did Grandma Tena let Daddy have a snake? He also had a dog. I want a dog. Why can't we have a dog? Why do dogs breathe out of their mouths like this "heh-heh-heh-heh" and then sometimes they drool. Bobby used to drool. I miss Bobby. When can I see Bobby again? When I die? When will I die? Do you think Bobby will remember me? What do you think he's doing right now? Playing with other dogs in heaven? Do they eat dog food in heaven? Daddy ate dog food once. That's gross. Can we have dog food for dinner some time?" This all would have been said in about one breath. Maybe two. So this why it's weird/easy to be home without Ruby's voice as my daily soundtrack and just with May who is content to sit on the ground and sing to a flip-slop and a mangled Little Mermaid eraser.

So far I've made good use of this new found time I've had. I organized my art studio, which was badly needed. It's located off of the kitchen behind sliding glass doors, so whenever people come over, they like to peek behind the curtains and see my disgusting mess. I usually wave my hand and say oh-so-casually "Yah, it's really messy right now," and shrug like "I'm an artist. It's just my nature." I also cleaned out the basement, which was also badly needed and went through all of the toys down there and threw away a huge black garbage bag filled with crap like fast food toys and things that were broken. Go, who has a hard time throwing anything away, was like "You threw away toys?! You should have given them to someone!" No way. If someone gave me a garbage bag filled with broken fast-food toys, our friendship would have ended there. I have a couple of other hot spots I'd like to get to but then what? I have the answer.

It's time to jump back on the art train. It's time to put stuff in the Etsy shop I've had sitting empty for months and months. I'm kind of scared if you want to know the truth.