When I was about 13 or 14, an Olympic swimming coach came to my Dad's health club and taught a swimming workshop for teens. I wasn't the fastest swimmer and always the last one off the block ("but always the farthest one out once she did jump off the block," my Mom is always quick to add. Thanks, viking quads!) so I took the opportunity and went. My Dad swam laps on one side of the pool while I "workshopped" with the coach.
"My, what viking-like quads you have, miss."
"Why, thank you, Olympic Coach!"
After I swam and the coach stood around stating the obvious, I got out of the pool and dried off. My Dad was already done and inside the gym at this point. I remember looking at the back of the building and seeing four unmarked doors--I swear they were unmarked. It was like the health club was so pretentious that you should just KNOW what door to go through because you are apart of the elite. If you didn't know what door to go through, you shouldn't be there in the first place. Be gone, day-pass street urchins. I decided to go through the door on the far left. That was SO the wrong door to open. It was the door to the men's locker room. I stood there in the doorway, stunned for about 10 seconds, my mouth agape at the sight of 4 elderly naked men, toweling off in a cloud of steam. All of a sudden, my Dad appeared right in front of me. "What are you doing in here?" and he sort of turned me around and led me and my viking quads out the door and pointed me towards the next door over--the ladies locker room. Unfortunately, the scene is forever seared into my retinas. I've stated that there was a time in college that I never wanted to get married--this experience may had something to do with that.
Today, my girls had a similar experience. We were at Costco and they had to use the restroom. I had a cart full of stuff and Olive strapped in the front, so I parked right outside of the bathroom and let the girls go in by themselves. I don't know how it's set up at your Costco, but at ours, it's like one big main entrance, with the women's side on the left, the men's on the right. It took me a couple of minutes and several bewildered men walking quickly out of the bathroom, checking the sign and heading back in to realize that my girls were indeed doing their business in the men's room. Not a proud parenting moment. Thankfully, they were secured inside a stall, with their retinas protected from the reality on the other side of the door at the urinals.
7 comments:
Glad that their retinas were spared, but doubly glad that this post was not accompanied by any pictures.
Sorry, but I have to say it!
JUST ONE OF THE REASONS WHY YOU NEVER ALLOW YOUR CHILDREN TO GO INTO A PUBLIC RESTROOM ALONE.
I know it's a hassle to unstrap and strap a writhing one year old, but you know what the slogan for Northwoods 6 (I'm thinking that was the number) was..."SAFETY FIRST!"
Words to live by.
Remember that one time the 3 of us went to Knott's Berry Farm and we were absolutely scoping on some fine boys a few yards away in the line for Montazuma's Revenge? Perhaps some eye contact was made, a shy smile? And then 10 minutes later while you and E were grabbing a funnel cake I was heading full speed to the restroom. And I smacked open the door just as one of the FINE boys was coming out. WOOPS! (He'd had it right, too. Mens room. Buh.)
Anyway, it makes me chuckle to picture Ruby and May nonchalantly going about toilet time, safely tucked away, while the men were probably a little unnerved that 2 little muffin girls were in the stalls behind them.
Woops, this is not JH, this is Merzy. But that was probably abundantly obvious.
My favorite part of this entire post/comments is that your mom remembers SAFETY FIRST from Northwoods. The quote wall will never die!!
I think you should look on the bright side. Now you don't have to give your girls 'the talk.' They know EVERYTHING now.
i believe the exact quote was: "Mighty Space Girl says 'Safety First!'"
Post a Comment