Happenings and Going Ons Parts One and Two and The Tale of the Cross Dressing Electrician

Part One: Rollerskating with Ruby

The sound track for this event would be something from America's Weekly Top 40's circa 2002 with a not so subtle stomp, stomp, crash; stomp, stomp, crash in the background, overlayed with a lot of laughter. It took us over an hour to make it around the rink twice.

My oldest is a spaz. There's no way a around it. Though the Coordination Well is bone dry right now, I have hope for her in the future. Luckily, she can laugh at herself which makes up for any lack of physcial prowess in my book.

I knew if I got frustrated, she surely would so I channeled my Dad and his laid back teaching style and though she is no closer to successfully skating as she was when she stepped foot onto the rink for the first time, she didn't cry, she didn't give up and she kept a strong and steady stream of giggles. I admire her for this, as I get frustrated easily when I don't pick up something right away. Hey, college roomies. Remember when I got that hair cut that required using a round brush? And anyone remember a round brush sailing across the apartment, accompanied with mild curses, chucked by yours truly? Yep. And Dad. Remember the hissy I threw in Lake Powell when I was 11 when I couldn't get the hang of water skiing? Good times. No. GREAT times. So thinking she would be like her mother, I was surprised when she didn't dramatically fling herself on the floor of the roller rink and through buckets of tears declare herself unfit to skate.

Aftwards, I asked if she had fun. She took a long time responding, no doubt trying to come up with something diplomatic to say but decided on a "No, not really." Hm. Well, at least there were no tears.

Part Two: Olive's Blessing

I really can't believe I'm posting not only one but TWO fat-face pictures of myself, but I don't want it to go undocumented. Hopefully you'll be near an eye wash station when you view this. No? Then just simply sticking your face under cold running water will do just fine.

Our friend who was in the blessing circle said he peeked down at her and Olive was looking up and smiling. That's my girl.


You see my shoes? I got these over ten years ago back in high school and hadn't worn them in ages. But after some fresh-faced enjenues from the pages of a magizine whispered up to me that 6-inch wedges were back in Style's good graces, I was stoked. And I said wedges, not wedgies. I don't even want to think about what a 6-inch wedgie would feel like. "Let's bust these puppies out, " I said as I dusted off my shoes. Then I did The Running Man and just when I was about to make a smooth transition over to The Roger Rabbit, I realized what had just taken place. It was the first time I had put something of my own on that had come "back into style." After weeping a little, I realized that these weren't actually the first straw wedges I owned and was reminded of a story. My Straw Wedges Story. Come gather 'round, children.

Once upon a time, there was a young princess who bought some straw wedges. She was about a junior in high school. Earlier in the week, it was there in her chambers of the enchanted yellow-walled castle, that her ceiling fan stopped working. The king and queen of the yellow-walled castle beckoned a lowly electrician to come and fix the ceiling fan straight away. Now unbeknownst to the king, queen and princess, this humbly electrician was in fact, an evil electrician. In the midst of the fan repair, the electrician reached down, stole the princess's new straw wedges and stuffed them into his tool box. With a great deal of naivete, the king, queen paid and thanked the electrician for his good work and bid him farewell. When the princess returned to her chambers, she discovered her straw wedges missing! Oh no! It was then decided that the evil electrician was indeed either a clepto with a shoe fetish or a drag queen in need of something fabulous for 'da clubs that weekend. Either way, the princess wanted to give the evil electrician a 6 inch wedgie for stealing her 6 inch wedges but then thought better of it, for fear he'd probably enjoy it. The end.