For a very short and unfortunate blip in my life, I dated a boy who called me "Tenderness." It started out as a joke, but then quickly stuck during the few months of our courtship, so much so that he probably even forgot my real name, which is why I feel I can totally blog about him because if he was ever creepy enough to Google me, he couldn't. Anyway, the relationship didn't end very well. I'd like to think that if I saw mostly any guy I dated years ago, today I could give him a friendly high-five and crack a joke about how weird it is that his wife looks exactly like me, proceeded by some overly exaggerated awkward winking, of course. But I can't because if I saw the boy who called me "Tenderness" today, I would just turn around and walk the other way. Even if I was in line for something good, like chocolate truffles. Or a grilled cheese sandwich.
Yesterday while at the grocery store, I was minding my own business, you know, cursing the pineapple for poking me or sticking some celery stalks up my nose, when an older couple strolled by with rickety elbows interlocked and I couldn't help but smile. Then, to my horror, the man turns to his wife and says "Tenderness, would you like me to bag the asparagus?" Ack! Memories! No thank you! I proceeded to flee the produce section immediately. I didn't even stop to get that head of lettuce I had wanted to play soccer with in the parking lot afterwards. Shoot.
6 comments:
Do I know said boy? Of course I'm itching to know that. You memory tease.
PS I like the little old couple tendernessing each other. I like that. And I want you and your man to be old and in the asparagus department calling each other tenderness. That's tender. ness. ish.
oh my. I know it's hard to believe, Auntie Mary, but there was a point there in my life where I did venture out of the Oregon dating circle. Enter eye-roll HERE.
so no. You do not know him. Fortunately.
Grandma Loveit has been here for 7 days now and I won't put a number to it, but among a variety of similar adages, I've heard "Waste not, want not"...let's just say more than once (a day), so I for sure won't be reading today's post to her.
Um. You know that one song by that one guy that goes a little something like, "Baby, I love your peaches, won't you shake your tree" with a "Wah, wahhhhh" guitar thing in it? or something like that? I was lovingly refered to "Peaches" in one of my previous relationships...*shivers*
It feels good to share.
I believe that this is the same person who referred to me as Bethlehem....
Where did you come up with these guys? Honestly.
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