Just a Word of Advice

If you're extremely sensitive to caffeine, and foolishly decide at 10 pm to eat the last slice of Bittersweet Chocolate Flour-less Cake, it would be wise after still lying awake at 1:30 am, to heed the sage advice from your husband when he suggests taking a sleep aid. And then, after retorting* "YOUR MOM should take some Melatonin," you should not stalk into the bathroom and decide to trim your bangs. You might walk out looking like a person hopped up on caffeine who picked up some scissors and went to town...with their eyes closed. And then, after becoming 50% distraught over your new insane-asylum-patient look and 50% distraught over the fact that you actually don't really care that much and why don't you care because you should care and what does this say about yourself and why are you so lame lately, you should not lie awake until 5 am watching Youtube videos of Korean girls trimming their bangs.

*Tena, if you're reading this, I wasn't specifically talking about YOU. This is a joke 30-somethings say to each other as a sassy and extremely intelligent and mature comeback, along the lines of "I know you are but what am I?" to shut the other person up. But let's be honest, you probably really should take a Melatonin.

Project Runway Reynolds Style

Tonight I constructed Ruby a Native American dress for her second-grade Thanksgiving feast tomorrow. It didn't exactly turn out like Austin Scarlett's beautiful, beautiful corn husk dress,

but it was pretty cute, only took me about 10 minutes, used only 2 brown bags and only a yard or two of twine. If I'm on my game, I'll take a picture of her in it tomorrow before she rain-dances off to school. And if I'm really on my game, I'll do a tutorial for all you mamas with little squaws out there.

Friday Photos: Home Bound Buddies

This Week's Meal Plan

I know this isn't very funny or interesting (let's be honest, I'm not very funny or interesting lately) but I always benefit when other people do this, so I thought "Eh, what the heck." Maybe you will, too.

Monday:

-Asian Glazed Drumsticks

-Brown rice

-Steamed broccoli

-Orange slices

Tuesday:

-Chicken Thighs with Artichoke Hearts and Feta Cheese

-Greek salad

-Herbed Lemon Couscous

-Grapes and apples

Wednesday:

Leftovers

Thursday:

-Jambalaya (gluten free chicken andouille sausage used, as well as brown rice as opposed to white, bell pepper omitted)

-salad made with greek yogurt, apples, oranges and bananas

Friday:

-Spicy Lentil Cheesy Tacos (Spread Lite Laughing Cow cheese onto a crisped corn tortilla and spoon into that Madras Lentils)

-Leftover fruit/yogurt salad

Saturday:

Either leftover jambalaya, eggs&pancakes (gluten free for Rubes) or go out. We're going to play it by ear. Daddy will actually be home for dinner for once. Some might say this is cause for a well-planned delicious meal to be made. I say it calls for being with him and not stuck in the kitchen.

Sunday:

-Carnitas/Salad bar with:

-Spicy Shredded Pork

-Black beans

-Guacamole: avocados, squirt of lime juice, dollop of salsa, pinch of garlic powder, pinch of salt

-Mango salsa

-Cilantro Lime dressing: a bunch of Ranch dressing, a dollop or two of sour cream, 5 or 6 tomatillos, a bunch of cilantro, juice of 2 or 3 limes, 1-2 garlic cloves, minced, all blended up

-Brazilian Limeade

-Dessert: Flourless Chocolate cake with whipped cream

I Am So Making This

A wool felt Christmas tree skirt like this one seen on Garnet Hill.

Goodbye cheesy red fabric bunched around the bottom

of our pathetic and very fake Christmas tree.

Someday it will look smashing underneath a real tree.

One that doesn't look like Charlie Brown's tree.

One that smells good.

One that is taller than I am.

One that I don't have to assemble

One that will not give me lead poisoning,

as it suggests that is a possibility from what is printed on it's tag.

One that doesn't have a tag.

But until then, we'll have a beautiful skirt

loving laid around our pathetic and very fake,

(did I mention poisonous?)

Christmas tree.

Friday Photos: Hats

Your Friends Will Thank You

Where we live is kind of a weird little quirky town. I keep telling myself that before we leave, I need to just walk down it's main street and take some photos. Each image would tell an odd story. One of our town's quirks is a radio station that's mainly run by the high school. Students are DJs and weather reporters and announcers of sports and local events. The music they play on week days are mostly 10 year old songs from EMO bands. On weekends, they play music from the 50's, which I enjoy because you never hear oldies that old over the air anymore. Nowadays, oldie stations are playing, like, The Police. Please.

My favorite thing about this particular station is the bulk of their commercials, which are public service announcements done by the high school students, which I assume are the result of group assignments in their Communications class. These public service announcements are as random as can be, read from scripts by non-actors: over-enthusiastic students with way too much expression or extremely stiff under-enthusiastic students. By the sounds of it, 75% of them have mouths full of metal--retainers, braces, head gear, etc. Topics range from underage drinking to helping the elderly. My favorite commercial is something that goes like this, read by the stiff, under-enthusiastic variety :

Girl: Hey, Craig.

Boy 1: Hey, McKenzie.

Girl: Have you noticed anything strange about Josh lately?

Boy 1: Yes, I have, McKenzie. I think he's stopped using deodorant.

Girl: Yes, I think you're right, Craig.

Boy 1: Do you think we should say anything to him, McKenzie?

Girl: I don't know, Craig. I don't want to hurt his feelings.

Boy 1: But his friends have stopped hanging around him. I think we should, McKenzie.

Girl: Ok Craig. Hey, Josh.

Boy 2: Hey McKenzie. Hey Craig. What's up?

Boy 1: We've noticed an odor coming from you lately, Josh. Have you stopped using deodorant?

Boy 2: You're right, Craig. I have. I don't shower very often anymore either.

Girl: Why, Josh?

Boy 2: I don't know, McKenzie. I didn't think anyone would notice.

Girl: People have, Craig. Maybe you should start showering and using deodorant again.

Boy 2: I think I will. Thanks guys.

Girl and Boy 1 in unison: No. Thank you, Josh.

Boy 1: This is a public service announcement brought to you by the students of BlahBlahBlah High School. As a courtesy to others around you, you should shower regularly, with soap and water, brush your teeth at least once a day, and be sure to wear deodorant.

Girl: Your friends will thank you.

It's awesome. I particularly enjoy the "brush your teeth once a day." Only once? Really? This explains so much.

Mama Says

Me: Oh, this is a good song, girls.

Ruby: What song is it?

Me: You Can't Always Get What You Want.

May: You always say that!

Ruby: Is "Fun is wherever we are" a song, too?

Friday Photos: Boots

More Delight (part 2)

Ruby: Mom, you know what I decided?
Me: What?
Ruby: I'm going to be rich when I grow up.
Me: Ok. So you're ready to work really hard?
Ruby: No. I'll just be rich.
Me: It doesn't work that way. You have to work to make money. And if you want a lot of it, that means you have to work hard.
Ruby: Ok. I'll have three jobs then.
Me: Three?
Ruby: Yep. An animal behavioralist; a park ranger, and a dog washer.
Me: Wow. You're going to be really busy. Hey, May. Did you tell Ruby what you decided you're going to be?
May: I changed my mind.
Me: To what?
May: I'm going to be Ruby's bosses.

Sent from my iPhone

Pure Delight

May: Mom, I'm going to be a singer when I grow up.

Me: Cool. I think you'll be a great singer.

May: I already am a great singer.

Me: This is true.

May: Will you come to my singing shows?

Me: Of course.

May: But what if I live far away from you?

Me: I'll come to as many as I can, then.

May: Never mind. I don't think I'll live far away from you.

Me: Oh good. I'd like that.

May: Will you clap after my songs?

Me: Totally.

May: Good. Because that means you like my songs.

Me: Yes.

May: I don't want to sing songs that other people sing. I just want to sing my own songs.

Me: I think that's a good idea.

May: Can I sing you a song right now?

Me: Sure.

May:
Nemo! Nemo!
On a see-saw!
On a see-saw!
On a see-saw!
Nemo! Nemo!
On a see-saw!
See that Nemo!
On a see-saw!

Me: *clap*clap*clap*

May: That means you liked it?

Me: Oh yes.

Ruby's Camera

Ruby received a camera for her birthday back in June from her Grandma Tena. Today we unlocked its treasures and downloaded everything from its memory card, including two videos I won't be sharing. One is an extremely bumpy 20 minute long tour of my mother's house, a description of every decorative item displayed, along with a step by step guide how to make gluten-free brownies. The other contained a conversation between me and my SIL Sarah while we were on the way to or from, I can't tell, NYC which was unknowingly videotaped. Due to the sensitive material being discussed, it has been deleted forevermore. Your welcome, Sal.

98% of them, Ruby took herself. My Mom and I took a couple at Disneyland since I didn't bring my camera. Anyway, here are some of the greats:

At Disneyland. Unfortunately, Grandma Caren missed the magical moment of May cradling Mickey's face in her hands, kissing his nose and saying "I love you, Mickey."

Olive wasn't as enthused.

This was taken shortly after.

Tea cups

In line for Peter Pan.

Yes, my child was on a leash.

Don't judge until you take a wanderer to a giant amusement park.

4th of July fireworks over the Susquehanna River.

Olive eating efficiently.

Auntie Sarah, checking the working status of her deodorant.

A fruit leather stands by for consumption.

A whistling old lady.

The sunset on the way back from NYC.

Two lovers in the Lincoln Tunnel.

Deep in thought.

Car nap.

Back seat entertainment. Who needs the excitement of NYC when you've got Sarah along?

Friday Photos: Happy Halloween!

May's Birthday

May May turns 5 on Thursday. I can't believe it. We celebrated with a bunch of her little friends last Saturday with a Beauty Shop themed party. We painted nails, did make up, applied lotions and perfume. The girls had fun and felt pretty.

May wanted our house to look fancy. I think these tissue paper pom-poms did the trick.

Pre-party dance party.

Cute little partyers.

It was fun.

Friday Photo: All Wrapped Up

Friday Photos on a Saturday Night: Tweedling Around Out Front

Toronto, Part 2: Niagara & Palmyra, NY

On our way home, we first stopped by Niagara Falls. It was amazing.

I have no idea what Ruby is doing in this picture. I'm going to go with wiping Cheeto debris off her hands and onto her jacket.

This is the view from where we were on the Canadian side, which is supposed to be the better side to see Niagara from for some reason. Even though I didn't know why this side was better, it didn't stop me from looking over at the people on the U.S. side and thinking "Suckers."

After crossing back into the States (border patrolmen resembling no celebrity, Canadian or otherwise) and gorging ourselves on buffalo wings, we went to Palmyra, New York to visit the Smith Farm and the Sacred Grove. It was gorgeous and peaceful and will always be a good memory for our family.