Hello darkness, my old friend

Today marks the death of a dear old pal to the Garlock family and those that spent time at the house. It is hard to tell how old he is, he was in such great shape but I'd venture to say he's at least 20 years old. He lived a good life, he served us well. Rest in peace, old buddy. The eulogy service will be at 11. Fruiti-Os, Crystal Geyser, E.L. Fudge, and Bagel Bites will be served; all the classics.*Now we just have to figure out how to get the thing out of the house. It weighs roughly 450 tons.