The Following May or May Not Have Really Happened

That day, you had actually tried. You tried because it was Thursday; the day you would see him. And by tried, I mean actually blew dried your hair, put on make up, a little perfume, wore something besides your Dad’s 20 year old church ball jersey.

You had walked up to campus feeling pre-tty good about yourself.

It was during finals week. All semester long in your sculpture class, you and he had exchanged witty banter that you had interpreted as mild flirtation. You had got along well, yet everything had been confined to class and he had never pursued otherwise. He was warm and friendly, yet oddly and frustratingly stand offish, which should go without saying, made him that much more attractive.

Class had ended and you were packing up to leave when you decided to make an extremely uncharacteristically bold move.

“Hey, what are you doing right now?” you asked.

“I was going to go get some food,” he said.

“Me, too. Do you want to come with me?” you said oh so casually, though mightily fighting the urge to vomit from nervousness all over his pretty-boy face.

“Sure," he asnwered as he looked at his watch. "I’m meeting up with my wife in about 20 minutes. She’d love to meet you.”

Yes. His wife. His wife you had no idea existed. The wife that gave him the wedding band, you went on to learn, that he’d take off and stick in his pocket before class because it was "easier to just take it off than to wash the clay off every time.” The wife that might have been a tad upset to learn that you had been infatuated with her husband for the past 4 months. Yah, that wife.

Choose your own adventure. Do you:

a) Stammer and bumble around like an idiot, claiming you don’t want to intrude. Do not mention that you thought he was single in hopes that maybe he didn’t realize you had just tried to make an ever so small move on him.

b) Start laughing uncontrollably. In between wheezes, you convey that you had no clue that he was married and why on earth did not wear his wedding ring, especially around young, eager, single girls, you dummy.

c) Shrug, say “Why not?” and go eat dinner with your wanna-be boyfriend and his wife. You might gain some valuable knowledge, like what kind of girl a guy like him would bag. You refrain from taking notes but learn you must be incredibly smart, incredibly skinny, incredibly pretty, and incredibly likable.

d) All of the above, pretty much all at the same time.

e) Grab a shovel and just start digging.