Choose Your Own Adventure #3

You and a friend take a jet ski out in the ocean. You are having a good time when all of a sudden, the jet ski stops running and you are no where near the shore. In fact, if you squint your eyes, you can see the shoreline with rows of beach houses which look like tiny colored specks. You look around for anyone, anything but find nothing, just water in every direction. Because you have seen Jaws one too many times, you opt to stay up on the jet ski and let your friend, who is dumber but nicer than you are, swim alongside of it and try to pull the jet ski inland. This proves futile as even after two hours of doing this, the tide seems to have taken you both farther out to sea. So there you are, shivering and scared, wondering how in the world you're ever going to touch dry land again when off in the distance, you see a shape moving towards you. It gets closer and closer and closer until you realize IT'S A SAIL BOAT. You both start waving your arms like crazy people and yelling like you just won the lottery, which in essence, you kind of just did--the I-get-to-continue-living lottery. As the boat approaches, you are filled with a great sense of relief. As the sail boat approaches even closer, you are filled with a great sense of disgust, as every single person on board is completely naked.

Choose your own adventure. Do you:

a) Say "No thanks, we'll catch the next one," and let the party animals sail on by. Four hours later a rescue chopper finds you. Up in the air, flying above Newport Harbor, you and your friend hit it off with the air-EMTs and form an all-girl travelling breakdancing team, wearing matching red Kangol hats and white track suits. You gain a small following and earn a name for yourself in the underground b-girl circle.

b) Hey, when in Rome...

c) Grab the rope they throw and tie it to your jet ski. Say "Thank you!" while you bury your face into your life jacket until you hear someone call your name from the boat. Reluctantly, you look up and realize it's your fourth grade teacher. Thankfully, she has put on at least a pair of shorts, but you'll still waiting on that shirt or bikini top or strategically wrapped beach towel--anything. Seeing x-teachers outside of school has always been awkward for you but this definitely takes the cake. As they are dropping you off at the dock, she winks at you and says "You were always my favorite student," which is really nice of her to say but you wish she had been fully dressed when she relayed that information because it kind of ruined the moment.

d) Grab the rope they throw and tie it to your jet ski. Say "Thank you!" and bury your face into your life jacket until you hear your friend call out "Hey, would you mind putting some clothes on?" Try as you might to completely avert your eyes, a face amongst the tan-lineless crowd catches your eye. You believe it is your fourth grade teacher but you never find out if it was really your fourth grade teacher or not because you never actually make eye contact with any of your rescuers, which is kind of unfortunate since you owe your life to them but dude, they're naked.