Envy is Ugly

I have exactly two battles of jealousy that I constantly fight, which is no fun because as I've already stated with the title of this post, jealousy = ugliness and who wants to be ugly?

Here they are:

1. Anyone who lives in Southern California. I don't care what your living situation is: huge freakin mansion, apartment, cardboard box, air mattress in your parent's laundry room, if you live within a 100 mile radius of Irvine, hello. My name is Jealous. Nice to meet you.

2. This guy:

His name is Jeff Hein.




Here are two of his paintings (not my favorite ones but they were the only ones that I could easily find that I could actually cut and paste):

Seriously, just check out his site and you will be blown away. If you are pressed for time, just look at the contemporary stuff. They bring me to my knees.

He was in our ward back in SLC when we lived there for about 5 seconds. He was probably the best Sunday School teacher I've ever had and just a really nice guy, which makes me feel even worse for being so jealous of him, his talent, his well-deserved success. He does paintings for the church, though those aren't my favorites. Anyway, I've been jealous every stinking minute of my entire life since the day I first laid eyes on one of his paintings. And now that I've laid eyes on his studio, I am getting uglier by the minute. By the end of this day, I will have turned into the love child of the witch from Snow White and Nick Nolte.

Must close. Jeff Hein. Site window...Horns. Are growing out of. My skull...Boils. Snaggle teeth. Hairs sprouting from moles. Must close it. Before it's too...late. I'm melting...melting...ahhhhhhkkkllmmmmnnpppkkkk.